Why I hate some people. An essay.

This morning, I drove to work. I drove, because after getting up at 5am and spending about 90 minutes of frenetic work to get myself and the kids out the door I was running late and couldn't make my usual bus.
The bus is great. I SO prefer to take the bus. I have a metropass I've pre-paid for a year -- so it's "free", too. However, the bus takes longer than if I drive myself downtown and park for $9 a day. Remembering my morning meetings today - I chose to drive.

What's remarkable about my drive in to downtown today was that it was an unusually smooth commute. Lights went green as I approached. Cars moved out of the lane I wanted to change to, and no one honked, gestured or drove too fast or too slow in my vicinity. It was a far better commute than I usually have. My usual commute is much more obscenity laced and involves near brushes with death almost every time. So, you can imagine the feeling of well-being and peace that I enjoyed after this positively relaxing and surprisingly pleasant drive in to work.

So, I might have seen this coming. I should have expected the other shoe to drop. I should have remembered those lessons from "Tom and Jerry" as a child. As soon as the cat is all relaxed and content, the anvil is sure to fall on his head - WHAM!

I didn't even have to leave the parking garage to meet my anvil.

After finding a parking spot in about the same place I park each time I park in this particular garage, I started gathering up my things in the van and locking up. As I climbed out of the van, next to the ONE LAST spot in this particular area in the garage marked in BIG LETTERS "COMPACT ONLY" (you can see where this is going, right?) I saw a really crappy beat up old blue minivan headed my way.

Actually, to be more accurate.. I heard it first. There must be something wrong with the engine because the whole vehicle seemed to be shaking and shimmy-ing and was making a terrible noise.

What's notable about this is that the direction the van was headed was against the one-way traffic. And, there are signs everywhere saying: "Do not Enter!" -- because the parking garage traffic is one way.

The driver of the van paused, as if contemplating whether or not to break the rules and drive against the one-way traffic. Then she gunned it. Full speed ahead sliding tightly and none-too-neatly into the "COMPACT ONLY" spot next to my van.

This was just about the time that I had walked to the end of my van and was standing looking back at the two parking spots.

I noticed that while she'd squeezed her van into the parking spot not intended for her vehicle's size.. that she had no possible way of getting out of her driver side door. There wasn't enough space for her to open her door. Oh, but she did. And HARD. Right into the side of my van. The front quarter panel side, just above the right front wheel.

I stood there dumbfounded and watched as she tried to squeeze out. She managed to shimmy out - and I could HEAR the metal against metal.

She then walked up to where my jaw was laying on the ground and said: "WHAT?" (in a nasty tone of voice that she never changed her tone from the entire conversation we had).

To which I said: "Um, that's my car you just hit".
She said: "I didn't hit your car."
I said: "Um, yeah, with your door. Getting out."
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
Me: "I watched you. I took a picture of it with my cell phone."
Her: "Gimme that" (reaching for my cell phone)
Me: "No. I think I'll just call the garage management folks and tell them about this."
Her: "Whatever." (mumble mumble grumble - calling me names under her breath)
Me: "Didn't you see the sign that said: "Compact Only"?"
Her: "I didn't hit your car."

I should interupt here to explain that we're both walking, side by side. Although her tone of voice is not nice, she doesn't seem menacing at all. She's a bit older than me - probably late 40s.. she looks like someone's mom and get this... she is a SECURITY GUARD. In her uniform.

Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
Me: "Didn't you notice that you drove down the ramp through the "Do Not Enter"?
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
Me: ...(dumbfounded look)
Her: "Why don't we just walk up to the manager right now so I can tell them I didn't hit your car."
Me: "Whatever. I don't think so. I think I'll call later and mention that you're parked in a Compact Only spot after you drove down the ramp the wrong direction past no less than 5 big "Do Not Enter" signs."
Her: "You need to go back to school."
...
Me: (Mumbling under my breath now that I'm heading up the staircase a different direction from her, and think I'm out of earshot).. "_itch"

And then a voice comes up from a whole level down, she's apparently opened the door to the stairwell although she's not headed that way...

Her: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Me: "You heard me."
Her: "I didn't hit your car. You need to go back to school."
Me: (Now certain I'm out of earshot): _itch.

Three things notable about this conversation are:

1. Neither of us raised our voices. And we walked calmly side by side until my path diverged from hers.
2. We didn't call each other names within earshot intentionally. She mumbled at me, and I waited until I thought I was alone in the stairwell.
3. Our conversation was so totally juvenille. It could have been between two kids instead of two parents.

The more I reflect on this I think that on the one hand I'm glad I said something. And, I don't think she's a bad person. She's probably a very nice Christian woman - because she didn't curse or rant at me. (Nor did I rant and rave at her.) She just thinks certain rules are optional and I don't.

In this day and age people do really obnoxious things because they seem to think they have some level of anonymity. It's not OK people. If you door ding someone's car - you've damaged it!

I remember when my mom made me leave a note on a ladies' white Cadillac when I was just 16 and had failed to master the manual transmission on my car. I accidentally bumped her Cadillac in a parking lot when the car lurched out of gear and stalled while I was trying to park in a narrow parking spot.

While it didn't leave a mark but for a slight red paint line on the white Caddy, my mom told me to go into EVERY establishment in the mall to find the owner.
I went in, head hung, and announced in each establishment: "Is there a person who owns a white cadillac in here?" No luck. So, my mom insisted the proper thing to do was to leave a note with my phone number on it.

It turns out the Cadillac was owned by an elderly woman who was in the movie theater. She talked with my mom mainly when she called. My mom explained what happened, handed me the phone, I apologized earnestly and offered to pay to fix her paint if necessary. She got very mad at this point and then said she wanted me to pay her lots of money (I think she asked for like a thousand dollars) to "have her car fixed". At this point I handed the phone back to my mom and she took over and insisted the lady get estimates to prove there would be ANY cost, and had she tried rubbing a damp sponge on the spot?
We never heard from her again. Might be that she realized there was no dent. Might also be that she couldn't ever find the tiny red paint spot again to point it out to someone to get an estimate.. because it was THAT minor.

Since that day back when I was 16 I've had people damage my parked cars in far worse ways than I ever did that Cadillac.. and I've never received so much as a "Oops, sorry!" much less an offer to fix the dent. At least twice, memorably, including today's experience, I've been present while someone dented my parked car. In neither case did the person apologize.

I have to say, at least this time I didn't end up in tears. The last time was when I was nursing Michael in the minivan outside of a restaurant we went to for brunch. To spare the other diners, I was nursing in our parked car, with it's tinted windows. And a mean lady yelled at me and called me names. After she hit my car trying to force her gigangous SUV into a parking spot that was partially blocked by another car (on the other side, not our car.) When I recounted the story, sobbing, in the restaurant to my husband, 2 complete strangers at the table next to ours actually got up and patted my back to comfort me and said: "Some people. Just know that not everyone is that way."

Some people, indeed. I don't hate ALL people. Just some. And... if you've dented my car without apologizing, you know which group of people you fall into.

Important things I learned today

You know - some days are just routine. And some days.. some days I really learn something. I learned at least two new pieces of information today:

1. Too much caffiene, chocolate, etc. can cause breast pain.
2. Taking vitamin E, about 400 IU a day, can help ease chronic breast pain.

And, then after some self-reflection, actually learned something that is only really helpful for me:
Even though the pace of life is busy and I am always feeling overwhelmed I MUST start taking better care of myself.
I need to commit to Jenny Craig, going to the YMCA to workout and really working at not eating crap. My blood pressure is crazy high. If I want to be around to actually spend any of my hard earned 401K I had better do something to improve my health.
I was pondering Jenny Craig just because I'm fed up being about 40lbs overweight from being pregnant 3 times since fall 2000. Now that I'm done with having babies it's time to reclaim my body. So, what started as vanity now seems imperative for my health.

Nothing ventured nothing gained - so here goes nothing.

Cow Boy

Cow Boy
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

He was a bit confused between "Moo" and "Baa" -- but he was cute nonetheless. He made it to about a half-dozen houses, which is pretty good for just 15 months old.

Grandma and Grandpa discovered that he loves Malted Milk Balls.

Although he doesn't have a lot of words - judging by his excited gesturing and babble he definitely loved his first Trick or Treat outing.

Fairy Princess

Fairy Princess
Originally uploaded by Geeky Mama.

Apparently age 4 is about the age at which Halloween becomes fun. Our Fairy Princess kept saying:
"I LOVE Halloween. Mommy, isn't Halloween the BEST?!?" and "Next House!!"