I've noticed a pattern.
I introduced my dad to the Macintosh computer and in a short period of time our relationship changed from my being his ad-hoc tech support and his asking me what to do to fix problems on his iMac to him knowing WAAAAY more about how to burn music, edit movies and all other facets of the Mac than I could ever hope to know.
I showed my friend Holly my new love of quilting (I can't say I introduced her to quilting because, shoot, she grew up sewing and doing needlework with her Grandmother) - and quickly she outpaced me in ability, quality of her handiwork and she's prolific. She's produced what must be dozens of truly beautiful quilts in the past few years. She amazes me.
I showed my friend Shelli my blog, and she quickly knew more about blogging than me! Her posts exceeded mine not only in frequency but in quantity and quality. She has made oodles of blogosphere friends, has cool thingies on her blog, her own domain name and slick widgets that boggle my mind each time I visit her blog...while meanwhile I stick to freebie Blogger and my rambling thoughts and mundane observations.
All I can surmise from this is this new motto for myself:
"Stepping stone for many, expert to none."
Truly, I say this with no bitterness at all. While I consider myself to be a bit of an early adopter I realize I'm spread too thin with too little time to get serious about most of the non-work geeky things I find interesting.
So, while I may be able to occasionally show people new things, they quickly grow past my introductory level of knowledge to do amazing things. I'm really very OK with that - because I'm happy to keep puttering along at the pace I'm at. Dabbling, but not being nearly as proficient or prolific.
Maybe someday when my kids are older I'll get more serious about one of my many interests. Until then, I'm happy to watch my friends and loved ones do amazing things, and to sit back and watch.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
別府へ手紙
Hi E,
30 earthquakes? And earthquakes centered in Beppu? That’s wild!
Are people worrying that Aso-san is waking up? (Maybe you already know this – but I was told it’s a dormant volcano.) Glad to hear they seem to have stopped for now. I don’t recall hardly any earthquakes during my time in Beppu – are people there surprised at all the activity I wonder?
I have to admit, earthquakes terrify me. They’re my number one fear, seriously. Tornadoes, Typhoons – don’t even phase me a bit. Earthquakes freak me out. I’ve been through quite a few – a couple of big ones in Okinawa, the big Kobe earthquake, and some measurable ones in Tokyo.. and rather than decreasing my fear, over time I’ve just become more & more scared of them.
It’s impressive you’ve picked up conversational Japanese (reading katakana and hiragana already) in just a year – that’s really great! I think it really helps being in the “inaka” (countryside). Beppu does kind of force one to learn Japanese just to get by – to handle the post office, grocery store and the bank and the ATMs.
I can still remember when I’d been given the bad advice to bring a cashier’s check to Japan. I came with a little cash, but the bulk of my savings (what I planned to live on until my first paycheck) in a cashier’s check. Oita Ginko had never seen one before – so they sent it first to a larger bank in Tokyo, and then that bank sent it BACK to the US and requested the US bank wire the funds. It took something like 6 weeks or more – and I was really frightened I’d never see the money again. (And it was all the money I had in the world at that point!) I’d go in, periodically to the bank and inquire whether the money was on the way and attempt to explain over and over that the check should be considered as cash.
At the time, I had enough Japanese to say: “Where is the money now?” And I sketched out a picture of Japan, and the US. The poor teller I’d asked pointed to the middle of the Pacific Ocean and I remember bursting into tears (around week 5) and saying: “It can’t be in the Ocean! It can’t be in the Ocean!” (Umi? Sore ga muri desu! Umi ga dame desu!) I’m sure I scarred that poor teller with my outburst and she never wanted to wait on a gaijin again!
I know just what you meant about your comment about how it's hard to get past the "surface" there. It is really hard to get past that “tatemae” layer with Japanese.
The cliché stuff about it being a homogenous society is really all too true. There are nationalists (minority) and others in Japan that really prize that homogeniety. That and the traditionalists that still hold stock (in varying degrees) in old class system in Japan (e.g. Eta, the untouchables) and it carries over to gaijin, too. The hierarchical nature of Japanese society makes for a rather exclusionary reality. It’s not something people are very forthcoming about, either – it’s rather subtle. Just like how talking about racism in America is taboo often, too. So on the surface there’s much talk about international this and that – and “gaikokujin” – but it does in fact stop at the surface much of the time.
Also, not unlike the US – these notions are stronger in the countryside than in the big cities. You’re right it would be a very different experience in Tokyo – where it’s a veritable United Nations compared to Oita and non-Japanese are so much more a part of everyday life that they’re barely noticed.
And I’m sure you’ve noticed that certain foreigners are more welcome than others, too. Or, perhaps that’s changing now? Japan seems to me to have become more progressive in this area in just the last 15 years. In fact, when I first came to Japan back in 1987 they still had signs above restaurants in Tokyo saying that Okinawan’s weren’t allowed to enter. Just like pre-Civil Rights era for black Americans!
Now shima-uta /“Island style” is all the rage – but it’s not that far back that Okinawans were discriminated against. (And most Japanese don’t consider Okinawans to be truly Japanese. Most mainland Japanese would say Okinawans are a different race due to their Ryuuku island heritage. Well, that and decades of US occupation - not to mention the still heavy US influence due to all the military bases.)
I had a friend who was born and raised in Beppu – but her last name was “Kaneyama”. Sounds Japanese, right? But her family name gave away the fact that she was third generation Korean. Although she spoke no Korean, and looked and sounded Japanese for all intents and purposes.. she was excluded from some schools, many better jobs and had diminished dating prospects – all because she wasn’t Japanese enough.
Given some more time, I’m sure you’d end up with a bunch of Japanese friends. But honestly, I think it takes a certain kind of Japanese person to be open to make friends with someone a bit different from them. Considering how hard that “group think” mentality is pounded into them (esp. in Jr. High) it takes a special type of person willing to step out of their comfort zone.
I ended up dating a few Japanese men during my time in Beppu – and through their circle of friends, and a few close Japanese female friends I made, I ended up getting a lot of lessons in Japanese culture. My Japanese friends used to remark: “Carolyn, you’re more Japanese than Japanese!” – because I made such a strong effort to follow etiquette, made my own plum wine, learned all the seasonal greetings and customs. I really tried hard to be a good student of the culture. Still, I ended up leaving Beppu when it was evident that I’d never ever really fit in.
There are a few foreigners in town that have married locals and had kids – stayed forever after in the area. I made friends with a couple (one runs his own juku, another used to teach yoga classes – though I don’t know if she still does) and while they’d blended in – they still had the same experiences I did with getting stared at in the public baths, etc.
I left when it was clear that if I did marry my boyfriend at the time and stay in Beppu – I’d have to resign myself to being a sort of second class citizen forever after. No matter how well I could read, write and speak Japanese .. I’d never be able to vote, I’d never be able to completely blend in (and I have dark hair, but still) – I’d always be a little bit different. Some people would be overly nice to me because of it, and ever so often, some people would hate me on sight because of it (I ran into “sabetsu” on just a few occasions) – and there’d be little I could do about that.
It’d be different if it were Tokyo, for sure. But, Kyushu is still Kyushu.
But I digress.
-----
This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote this week to a new acquaintance living in the town I lived in over a decade ago. So little has changed there, in some ways. It's funny, but when I look back on how I almost chose to stay and make a life there, I simultaneously miss it there so very much and am very nostalgic for the place, people and time - but I also know very clearly that the life I've ended up having is a far better one in so many ways than the one I might have settled for had I stayed there.
Also something that puzzles me is this - why do I so deeply identify with a country that is not my homeland? Why do I still pine for a place that, logically, I see did not and would not ever embrace me?
But then - I'm also pondering deep questions like: "Which is better, liquid or cream based hair dyes?" today. Ha!
30 earthquakes? And earthquakes centered in Beppu? That’s wild!
Are people worrying that Aso-san is waking up? (Maybe you already know this – but I was told it’s a dormant volcano.) Glad to hear they seem to have stopped for now. I don’t recall hardly any earthquakes during my time in Beppu – are people there surprised at all the activity I wonder?
I have to admit, earthquakes terrify me. They’re my number one fear, seriously. Tornadoes, Typhoons – don’t even phase me a bit. Earthquakes freak me out. I’ve been through quite a few – a couple of big ones in Okinawa, the big Kobe earthquake, and some measurable ones in Tokyo.. and rather than decreasing my fear, over time I’ve just become more & more scared of them.
It’s impressive you’ve picked up conversational Japanese (reading katakana and hiragana already) in just a year – that’s really great! I think it really helps being in the “inaka” (countryside). Beppu does kind of force one to learn Japanese just to get by – to handle the post office, grocery store and the bank and the ATMs.
I can still remember when I’d been given the bad advice to bring a cashier’s check to Japan. I came with a little cash, but the bulk of my savings (what I planned to live on until my first paycheck) in a cashier’s check. Oita Ginko had never seen one before – so they sent it first to a larger bank in Tokyo, and then that bank sent it BACK to the US and requested the US bank wire the funds. It took something like 6 weeks or more – and I was really frightened I’d never see the money again. (And it was all the money I had in the world at that point!) I’d go in, periodically to the bank and inquire whether the money was on the way and attempt to explain over and over that the check should be considered as cash.
At the time, I had enough Japanese to say: “Where is the money now?” And I sketched out a picture of Japan, and the US. The poor teller I’d asked pointed to the middle of the Pacific Ocean and I remember bursting into tears (around week 5) and saying: “It can’t be in the Ocean! It can’t be in the Ocean!” (Umi? Sore ga muri desu! Umi ga dame desu!) I’m sure I scarred that poor teller with my outburst and she never wanted to wait on a gaijin again!
I know just what you meant about your comment about how it's hard to get past the "surface" there. It is really hard to get past that “tatemae” layer with Japanese.
The cliché stuff about it being a homogenous society is really all too true. There are nationalists (minority) and others in Japan that really prize that homogeniety. That and the traditionalists that still hold stock (in varying degrees) in old class system in Japan (e.g. Eta, the untouchables) and it carries over to gaijin, too. The hierarchical nature of Japanese society makes for a rather exclusionary reality. It’s not something people are very forthcoming about, either – it’s rather subtle. Just like how talking about racism in America is taboo often, too. So on the surface there’s much talk about international this and that – and “gaikokujin” – but it does in fact stop at the surface much of the time.
Also, not unlike the US – these notions are stronger in the countryside than in the big cities. You’re right it would be a very different experience in Tokyo – where it’s a veritable United Nations compared to Oita and non-Japanese are so much more a part of everyday life that they’re barely noticed.
And I’m sure you’ve noticed that certain foreigners are more welcome than others, too. Or, perhaps that’s changing now? Japan seems to me to have become more progressive in this area in just the last 15 years. In fact, when I first came to Japan back in 1987 they still had signs above restaurants in Tokyo saying that Okinawan’s weren’t allowed to enter. Just like pre-Civil Rights era for black Americans!
Now shima-uta /“Island style” is all the rage – but it’s not that far back that Okinawans were discriminated against. (And most Japanese don’t consider Okinawans to be truly Japanese. Most mainland Japanese would say Okinawans are a different race due to their Ryuuku island heritage. Well, that and decades of US occupation - not to mention the still heavy US influence due to all the military bases.)
I had a friend who was born and raised in Beppu – but her last name was “Kaneyama”. Sounds Japanese, right? But her family name gave away the fact that she was third generation Korean. Although she spoke no Korean, and looked and sounded Japanese for all intents and purposes.. she was excluded from some schools, many better jobs and had diminished dating prospects – all because she wasn’t Japanese enough.
Given some more time, I’m sure you’d end up with a bunch of Japanese friends. But honestly, I think it takes a certain kind of Japanese person to be open to make friends with someone a bit different from them. Considering how hard that “group think” mentality is pounded into them (esp. in Jr. High) it takes a special type of person willing to step out of their comfort zone.
I ended up dating a few Japanese men during my time in Beppu – and through their circle of friends, and a few close Japanese female friends I made, I ended up getting a lot of lessons in Japanese culture. My Japanese friends used to remark: “Carolyn, you’re more Japanese than Japanese!” – because I made such a strong effort to follow etiquette, made my own plum wine, learned all the seasonal greetings and customs. I really tried hard to be a good student of the culture. Still, I ended up leaving Beppu when it was evident that I’d never ever really fit in.
There are a few foreigners in town that have married locals and had kids – stayed forever after in the area. I made friends with a couple (one runs his own juku, another used to teach yoga classes – though I don’t know if she still does) and while they’d blended in – they still had the same experiences I did with getting stared at in the public baths, etc.
I left when it was clear that if I did marry my boyfriend at the time and stay in Beppu – I’d have to resign myself to being a sort of second class citizen forever after. No matter how well I could read, write and speak Japanese .. I’d never be able to vote, I’d never be able to completely blend in (and I have dark hair, but still) – I’d always be a little bit different. Some people would be overly nice to me because of it, and ever so often, some people would hate me on sight because of it (I ran into “sabetsu” on just a few occasions) – and there’d be little I could do about that.
It’d be different if it were Tokyo, for sure. But, Kyushu is still Kyushu.
But I digress.
-----
This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote this week to a new acquaintance living in the town I lived in over a decade ago. So little has changed there, in some ways. It's funny, but when I look back on how I almost chose to stay and make a life there, I simultaneously miss it there so very much and am very nostalgic for the place, people and time - but I also know very clearly that the life I've ended up having is a far better one in so many ways than the one I might have settled for had I stayed there.
Also something that puzzles me is this - why do I so deeply identify with a country that is not my homeland? Why do I still pine for a place that, logically, I see did not and would not ever embrace me?
But then - I'm also pondering deep questions like: "Which is better, liquid or cream based hair dyes?" today. Ha!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Nothing says 'home' like a Garden Gnome of your own...
Initially I protested hubby's purchase of this...lawn ornament.
But, like the garden...he's growing on me.
Monday's Child
My absolutely beautiful newest nephew is truly fair of face.
Congratulations Marty & Kristin! Welcome baby Braeden!
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