These are my beautiful children. This picture is the best representation of their personalities that I've ever seen. I thank my lovely friend H for her photography skills.. she totally captured their little quirks perfectly. If you ever need a photographer (children, weddings, landscapes) ...let me know and I can get you in contact with H. (Helps if you're in the Chicagoland area.)
Monday, April 11, 2005
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Why do the teenage years start in Elementary school now?
I remember my own years in Elementary school pretty well. I loved school. I bordered on being a "Teacher's Pet"/"Suck Up" type kid. I was forever curled up someplace in the house, or up in a homemade hammock in the backyard apple trees reading a book. I loved "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" and all the Judy Blume books and even a few other books that my grade school librarian slipped me that were WAAAY too old for me.
I was an well-read but naive kid. I remember nearing Junior High when some kids on the playground cornered me one day and said: "Hey, do you know what a rubber is?" I said, to everyone's great amusement: "You mean like Galoshes?" I was so sheltered.
Of course, I could only hope my own kids could grow up so untouched by the ways of the world. One of my greatest goals in life now as a parent is to shelter them enough to extend their childhood and not prematurely subject them to the concerns of the adult world.. but to let them be independent enough to not grow up dependent on me for decisions or good judgments.
That is the ultimate balancing act - the high wire walk I attempt routinely. I fail a lot.
But, complicating that is the outside world. It's so different from when I was little. There are more hoochie-mama outfits and materialistic influences. My god, there are those BRATZ dolls that look like Barbie hooker-wanna-bes.
Our oldest got her ears pierced this week. I was unconvinced that the time was right - but my vote counts for less than her mother's and father's. (I'm the step-mom.) She's long had the attitude that I expected I wouldn't see until Jr. High. The deep sighs, the rolling of eyes (even our 3 year old has mastered the "Oh Mom GEEZ" look coupled with the full eye rolling hands on hips exasperated stance)..
The girls she plays with in our neighborhood wear jean jackets over belly baring tops and low-rise jeans. They wear more makeup (though it's only lipgloss, eye glitter, body glitter) than I do. They don't even pretend to respect me. They sneer and say: "Is -insert daughter's name here-there?" They either haven't been taught, or find it unimportant to greet me personally. No "Hello Mrs. X, is Y there?"
These are 7, 8 and 9 year olds. Not 13, 14 or 15 year olds. THAT is what shocks me. I always thought this attitude would be something we wouldn't see till later in life.
Mind you, the battles are minor these days. She doesn't care that much what she wears or what the labels on her clothes say. She is more interested in stuffed animals and Polly Pockets than boys or talking on the phone. But, in just the past twelve months our 2nd grader has now had her first "boyfriend" (whuh?! Don't you mean a boy who is a friend?!) and has gone from never having heard of Claire's to deciding that Claire's is "The BEST store in the world for a girl!".
I am now daily puzzled by how to simultaneously boost her self-esteem, support her growing independence from us, her parents, and yet help her hold on to her childhood years and preventing her from prematurely growing wise in the ways of the world that are scary, harsh or hurtful to her heart. This is a difficult dance. I expected this - sure, for her pre-teen and teen years. What I didn't expect is that it would start so much earlier - during her first couple of years in Elementary school.
I was an well-read but naive kid. I remember nearing Junior High when some kids on the playground cornered me one day and said: "Hey, do you know what a rubber is?" I said, to everyone's great amusement: "You mean like Galoshes?" I was so sheltered.
Of course, I could only hope my own kids could grow up so untouched by the ways of the world. One of my greatest goals in life now as a parent is to shelter them enough to extend their childhood and not prematurely subject them to the concerns of the adult world.. but to let them be independent enough to not grow up dependent on me for decisions or good judgments.
That is the ultimate balancing act - the high wire walk I attempt routinely. I fail a lot.
But, complicating that is the outside world. It's so different from when I was little. There are more hoochie-mama outfits and materialistic influences. My god, there are those BRATZ dolls that look like Barbie hooker-wanna-bes.
Our oldest got her ears pierced this week. I was unconvinced that the time was right - but my vote counts for less than her mother's and father's. (I'm the step-mom.) She's long had the attitude that I expected I wouldn't see until Jr. High. The deep sighs, the rolling of eyes (even our 3 year old has mastered the "Oh Mom GEEZ" look coupled with the full eye rolling hands on hips exasperated stance)..
The girls she plays with in our neighborhood wear jean jackets over belly baring tops and low-rise jeans. They wear more makeup (though it's only lipgloss, eye glitter, body glitter) than I do. They don't even pretend to respect me. They sneer and say: "Is -insert daughter's name here-
These are 7, 8 and 9 year olds. Not 13, 14 or 15 year olds. THAT is what shocks me. I always thought this attitude would be something we wouldn't see till later in life.
Mind you, the battles are minor these days. She doesn't care that much what she wears or what the labels on her clothes say. She is more interested in stuffed animals and Polly Pockets than boys or talking on the phone. But, in just the past twelve months our 2nd grader has now had her first "boyfriend" (whuh?! Don't you mean a boy who is a friend?!) and has gone from never having heard of Claire's to deciding that Claire's is "The BEST store in the world for a girl!".
I am now daily puzzled by how to simultaneously boost her self-esteem, support her growing independence from us, her parents, and yet help her hold on to her childhood years and preventing her from prematurely growing wise in the ways of the world that are scary, harsh or hurtful to her heart. This is a difficult dance. I expected this - sure, for her pre-teen and teen years. What I didn't expect is that it would start so much earlier - during her first couple of years in Elementary school.
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