Poor sickly Luce. She had been up three or four times sick (throwing up, feverish, coughing) in the night. Her color is awful - but she seemed to enjoy her presents even so.
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
The one who was ready to open presents at 3am
We wondered if this year, as a 3rd grader, she'd doubt the whole "Santa Claus" thing. Nope. She's the one who comments on how Santa's handwriting looks nothing like ours.
Christmas morning
Baby boy got some "boy" toys. Still, he prefers "Bella Dancerella Ballet" and wearing his tutu.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Now we're ready for Christmas..
Cookies baked & frosted? Check!
Presents wrapped and ready? Check!
Christmas cards sent? Check!
Snow on the ground? Check!
At least one of our children sick? Check!!
My memories of my childhood Christmases include more years than not where Christmas Eve found me worshipping the porcelin god rather than laying in bed listening for Santa's reindeer's hooves on the rooftop. Lovely, right? I don't know whether it was the excitement, the peel & eat shrimp with cocktail sauce I over-ate at my Aunt Molly's house or the combination there of -- but Christmas Eve for me as a child generally ended as a "puke fest".
Not unlike my own childhood Christmas memories - since I've "grown up" and created a little family of my own it seems like each year we've had at least one member of the family (usually a kid) sickly. There was the year that I stayed back with a sickly Emma on Christmas Eve while the rest of the family went to church. She laid there limp and barely picked at her presents. There was the year when, expectant with baby Michael, I was totally bed-ridden with HG (hyper-emesis gravidum - that means NON STOP puking. For MONTHS.)
Last year again it was mommy who was most sickly - and I was so out of it that I put the wrong gifts in the wrong stocking. The girls are still debating whether Santa just had too much to drink or whether he is getting dementia in his old age. Seriously.
This year it sounds like our 4 yr. old is going to be the sickly one. She woke up with what sounds like croup this morning, poor baby.
Still -- now I know it's Christmas. It wouldn't be Christmas without the sicky.
Presents wrapped and ready? Check!
Christmas cards sent? Check!
Snow on the ground? Check!
At least one of our children sick? Check!!
My memories of my childhood Christmases include more years than not where Christmas Eve found me worshipping the porcelin god rather than laying in bed listening for Santa's reindeer's hooves on the rooftop. Lovely, right? I don't know whether it was the excitement, the peel & eat shrimp with cocktail sauce I over-ate at my Aunt Molly's house or the combination there of -- but Christmas Eve for me as a child generally ended as a "puke fest".
Not unlike my own childhood Christmas memories - since I've "grown up" and created a little family of my own it seems like each year we've had at least one member of the family (usually a kid) sickly. There was the year that I stayed back with a sickly Emma on Christmas Eve while the rest of the family went to church. She laid there limp and barely picked at her presents. There was the year when, expectant with baby Michael, I was totally bed-ridden with HG (hyper-emesis gravidum - that means NON STOP puking. For MONTHS.)
Last year again it was mommy who was most sickly - and I was so out of it that I put the wrong gifts in the wrong stocking. The girls are still debating whether Santa just had too much to drink or whether he is getting dementia in his old age. Seriously.
This year it sounds like our 4 yr. old is going to be the sickly one. She woke up with what sounds like croup this morning, poor baby.
Still -- now I know it's Christmas. It wouldn't be Christmas without the sicky.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Sneak Preview for our Christmas Card
I do some photo cards most years. This year I'm inserting this picture. This was last night - the kids & hubby met me downtown and we fought the crowds through the Marshall Fields Christmas display (Cinderella) & stood in line to see Santa. All went well (no melt-downs or tantrums or other issues) and we got our Christmas picture completed, too. Yay!
Not official, but still...
So, yesterday I wrote up two lists of "13" for Thirteen Thursday.
Then I got busy at the very end of the day (more on that later) - so I didn't post them. Then, when thinking about it.. I thought: This is not realistic for me.
Seriously - committing to blogging on a frequent basis just doesn't work for me. As much as I'd like to, the pace of my life won't allow it. I have days where I run in the door (after carrying the kids in from the minivan) and run for the bathroom because it's the first chance I've had to use the restroom all day - just too busy.
One of these days I'm going to miscalculate how much tea my bladder can hold and give the kids a great story about how mommy peed her pants.
In any case, here are the two lists of 13. But, consider this the last time I'll try for a Thursday 13 - because it's just not something I can sustain.
Thirteen Things I Am Extremely Fond Of (not counting husband & kids & dear friends)
1. Lotte Mint Blue Gum
2. Paradise Iced Tea
3. Pilot G-2 pens
4. XM MyFi!
5. AIM and email. Love it and cannot live without them.
6. Andes Mints
7. Aveda Control Paste
8. Sujata Massey books
9. My MetroPass Go-To card. In fact, I just love Mpls Metro Transit, period.
10. Three words: HEATED.LEATHER.SEATS
11. Bath & Body Jasmine Vanilla Aromatherapy Body Wash - when it's on sale.
12. Anything Carolyn Haines writes.
13. The NYT online.
Thirteen Things I Regret Today
1. The snow on the ground reminded me of my first ever visit to Minnesota years ago -and the terrible person it was with. He drove too fast for the snowy roads and rammed a rental car into a snow pile. The snow piles on the road this morning
brought that unsavory memory back. And all the regrets that I ever got tangled up with such a person in the first place.
2. The stupid play on words I attempted in the lunch room with my coworkers today that was insulting to two groups of people - without me intending to be. I needed some ketchup along with my foot after that dumb remark.
3. I'm kicking myself that we didn't get pictures of all three kids in front of the Christmas tree last weekend when we had our oldest daughter home.
4. I forgot my step-mom's birthday yesterday. I love her dearly and feel like a total dork that I forgot to call or send a card. I'll send a belated card and present -- but I hate that I missed the actual date.
5. I regret not saying something to the dork on the bus that sat next to me and kept hitting me yesterday on my way home from work.
He actually elbowed me in the face at one point near the end of the bus ride and didn't even say "Excuse me". By the time the bus pulled in the lot I was absolutely seething. I'd decided if he hit me ONE MORE TIME (he'd already hit, squished and
elbowed me more than a dozen times by then) that I was going to say something snarky. Now I wish I hadn't waited a dozen times.
6. I regret staying up so late last night. It felt good to ramble on and talk to my hubby (who got back from his trip last night around 9:30pm)..but I was SO tired this morning. Plus Michael and the cat woke me up a couple of times in the night - so I was super groggy this morning.
7. I regret wasting so much time looking at real estate listings today. Hubby & I swapped them a few times. I shouldn't bother - because he's not willing to make a move until Spring or Summer - so I'm wasting my time getting all excited over places we'll never go see or buy.
8. I regret not bringing my boots to work today. I figured I could navigate shoveled sidewalks until getting into the skyway. What I'd forgotten about is the way home. I'm likely to need them.
9. Ah, those two handfuls of Andes Mints I ate after lunch. Have totally undone any benefits from my low-calorie packed lunch.
10. I wish I'd been home to kiss my kids this morning. Instead I got to the office early. Necessary evil.
11. Wrong socks! I pulled on khaki socks - but I would've been better off with a darker color today. Oh well.
12. Speaking up in a meeting. Sometimes I should really just bite my tongue. I didn't say anything TOO stupid .. but sometimes I need to sit down and shut up.
13. My Chipotle dinner. Just didn't hit the spot - I've eaten it too frequent lately. And, the resulting onion breath was deadly bad.
Then I got busy at the very end of the day (more on that later) - so I didn't post them. Then, when thinking about it.. I thought: This is not realistic for me.
Seriously - committing to blogging on a frequent basis just doesn't work for me. As much as I'd like to, the pace of my life won't allow it. I have days where I run in the door (after carrying the kids in from the minivan) and run for the bathroom because it's the first chance I've had to use the restroom all day - just too busy.
One of these days I'm going to miscalculate how much tea my bladder can hold and give the kids a great story about how mommy peed her pants.
In any case, here are the two lists of 13. But, consider this the last time I'll try for a Thursday 13 - because it's just not something I can sustain.
Thirteen Things I Am Extremely Fond Of (not counting husband & kids & dear friends)
1. Lotte Mint Blue Gum
2. Paradise Iced Tea
3. Pilot G-2 pens
4. XM MyFi!
5. AIM and email. Love it and cannot live without them.
6. Andes Mints
7. Aveda Control Paste
8. Sujata Massey books
9. My MetroPass Go-To card. In fact, I just love Mpls Metro Transit, period.
10. Three words: HEATED.LEATHER.SEATS
11. Bath & Body Jasmine Vanilla Aromatherapy Body Wash - when it's on sale.
12. Anything Carolyn Haines writes.
13. The NYT online.
Thirteen Things I Regret Today
1. The snow on the ground reminded me of my first ever visit to Minnesota years ago -and the terrible person it was with. He drove too fast for the snowy roads and rammed a rental car into a snow pile. The snow piles on the road this morning
brought that unsavory memory back. And all the regrets that I ever got tangled up with such a person in the first place.
2. The stupid play on words I attempted in the lunch room with my coworkers today that was insulting to two groups of people - without me intending to be. I needed some ketchup along with my foot after that dumb remark.
3. I'm kicking myself that we didn't get pictures of all three kids in front of the Christmas tree last weekend when we had our oldest daughter home.
4. I forgot my step-mom's birthday yesterday. I love her dearly and feel like a total dork that I forgot to call or send a card. I'll send a belated card and present -- but I hate that I missed the actual date.
5. I regret not saying something to the dork on the bus that sat next to me and kept hitting me yesterday on my way home from work.
He actually elbowed me in the face at one point near the end of the bus ride and didn't even say "Excuse me". By the time the bus pulled in the lot I was absolutely seething. I'd decided if he hit me ONE MORE TIME (he'd already hit, squished and
elbowed me more than a dozen times by then) that I was going to say something snarky. Now I wish I hadn't waited a dozen times.
6. I regret staying up so late last night. It felt good to ramble on and talk to my hubby (who got back from his trip last night around 9:30pm)..but I was SO tired this morning. Plus Michael and the cat woke me up a couple of times in the night - so I was super groggy this morning.
7. I regret wasting so much time looking at real estate listings today. Hubby & I swapped them a few times. I shouldn't bother - because he's not willing to make a move until Spring or Summer - so I'm wasting my time getting all excited over places we'll never go see or buy.
8. I regret not bringing my boots to work today. I figured I could navigate shoveled sidewalks until getting into the skyway. What I'd forgotten about is the way home. I'm likely to need them.
9. Ah, those two handfuls of Andes Mints I ate after lunch. Have totally undone any benefits from my low-calorie packed lunch.
10. I wish I'd been home to kiss my kids this morning. Instead I got to the office early. Necessary evil.
11. Wrong socks! I pulled on khaki socks - but I would've been better off with a darker color today. Oh well.
12. Speaking up in a meeting. Sometimes I should really just bite my tongue. I didn't say anything TOO stupid .. but sometimes I need to sit down and shut up.
13. My Chipotle dinner. Just didn't hit the spot - I've eaten it too frequent lately. And, the resulting onion breath was deadly bad.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Thirteen Thursday - 13 Reasons Why I Got Nothing Done Today
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Monday, December 05, 2005
Picking the tree
This is all the more progress we have towards all things Christmas-y so far.
Hubby travels like ALL of December, including through the weekend this weekend.. so I am seriously wondering how I will get Christmas cards mailed out this year.
At this rate, I wonder how we will ever pull off Christmas this year. When and how will we manage to get the tree decorated? When will the presents get bought? Wrapped? Christmas cookies? Ha! As if!
Oh well. The important things will be completed. We adopted a needy family and my sister-in-law did all the shopping for them (we sent a check).
Youngest daughter went to a Gingerbread House making party and ate candy and played with her friends.
We'll have Christmas Eve at Grandma's house, and Christmas dinner at ours.
I think toy shopping on-line will guarantee that SOMETHING is under the tree for the kids..
It'll all come together just in the nick of time. Right?
Hubby travels like ALL of December, including through the weekend this weekend.. so I am seriously wondering how I will get Christmas cards mailed out this year.
At this rate, I wonder how we will ever pull off Christmas this year. When and how will we manage to get the tree decorated? When will the presents get bought? Wrapped? Christmas cookies? Ha! As if!
Oh well. The important things will be completed. We adopted a needy family and my sister-in-law did all the shopping for them (we sent a check).
Youngest daughter went to a Gingerbread House making party and ate candy and played with her friends.
We'll have Christmas Eve at Grandma's house, and Christmas dinner at ours.
I think toy shopping on-line will guarantee that SOMETHING is under the tree for the kids..
It'll all come together just in the nick of time. Right?
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Thirteen Things - Thanks to Shelli
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1…. I recently cut off all my hair. People who haven't seen me in a while are quite shocked - it's REALLY short. 2…. Me speaka the Japanese. 3…. If my children were dwarves in Snow White they'd be: Pukey, Smiley and Recalcitrant. 4…. I would be Coughy and my husband Farty. Actually, that's accurate without Disney magic. 5…. I was born in Ohio. Go Buckeyes! 6…. I wish I had been born in New Zealand. Go Kiwis! 7…. My family of 5 lives in a house with less than 1400 sq. feet in a neighborhood where the average house is over 2500 sq. feet. 8…. I don't drink coffee. I love the smell, but all I drink is iced tea. Year-round. 9…. I drive a mini-van now. I swore I wouldn't.. but, I love my Nissan Quest. 10…. I am an avid quilter. I don't have much time - so I'm not very prolific - but I love to quilt. I hand piece and machine quilt - which is backwards from what many quilters do. Figures. I'm kind of backwards sometimes. 11…. I had scoliosis as a child that went undetected. So, I'm a few inches shorter than I should have been due to curvature of my spine. 12…. My H.S. graduating class had only 32 people in it. 13…. I met my husband in Japan - but he's Minnesotan. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Why I hate some people. An essay.
This morning, I drove to work. I drove, because after getting up at 5am and spending about 90 minutes of frenetic work to get myself and the kids out the door I was running late and couldn't make my usual bus.
The bus is great. I SO prefer to take the bus. I have a metropass I've pre-paid for a year -- so it's "free", too. However, the bus takes longer than if I drive myself downtown and park for $9 a day. Remembering my morning meetings today - I chose to drive.
What's remarkable about my drive in to downtown today was that it was an unusually smooth commute. Lights went green as I approached. Cars moved out of the lane I wanted to change to, and no one honked, gestured or drove too fast or too slow in my vicinity. It was a far better commute than I usually have. My usual commute is much more obscenity laced and involves near brushes with death almost every time. So, you can imagine the feeling of well-being and peace that I enjoyed after this positively relaxing and surprisingly pleasant drive in to work.
So, I might have seen this coming. I should have expected the other shoe to drop. I should have remembered those lessons from "Tom and Jerry" as a child. As soon as the cat is all relaxed and content, the anvil is sure to fall on his head - WHAM!
I didn't even have to leave the parking garage to meet my anvil.
After finding a parking spot in about the same place I park each time I park in this particular garage, I started gathering up my things in the van and locking up. As I climbed out of the van, next to the ONE LAST spot in this particular area in the garage marked in BIG LETTERS "COMPACT ONLY" (you can see where this is going, right?) I saw a really crappy beat up old blue minivan headed my way.
Actually, to be more accurate.. I heard it first. There must be something wrong with the engine because the whole vehicle seemed to be shaking and shimmy-ing and was making a terrible noise.
What's notable about this is that the direction the van was headed was against the one-way traffic. And, there are signs everywhere saying: "Do not Enter!" -- because the parking garage traffic is one way.
The driver of the van paused, as if contemplating whether or not to break the rules and drive against the one-way traffic. Then she gunned it. Full speed ahead sliding tightly and none-too-neatly into the "COMPACT ONLY" spot next to my van.
This was just about the time that I had walked to the end of my van and was standing looking back at the two parking spots.
I noticed that while she'd squeezed her van into the parking spot not intended for her vehicle's size.. that she had no possible way of getting out of her driver side door. There wasn't enough space for her to open her door. Oh, but she did. And HARD. Right into the side of my van. The front quarter panel side, just above the right front wheel.
I stood there dumbfounded and watched as she tried to squeeze out. She managed to shimmy out - and I could HEAR the metal against metal.
She then walked up to where my jaw was laying on the ground and said: "WHAT?" (in a nasty tone of voice that she never changed her tone from the entire conversation we had).
To which I said: "Um, that's my car you just hit".
She said: "I didn't hit your car."
I said: "Um, yeah, with your door. Getting out."
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
Me: "I watched you. I took a picture of it with my cell phone."
Her: "Gimme that" (reaching for my cell phone)
Me: "No. I think I'll just call the garage management folks and tell them about this."
Her: "Whatever." (mumble mumble grumble - calling me names under her breath)
Me: "Didn't you see the sign that said: "Compact Only"?"
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
I should interupt here to explain that we're both walking, side by side. Although her tone of voice is not nice, she doesn't seem menacing at all. She's a bit older than me - probably late 40s.. she looks like someone's mom and get this... she is a SECURITY GUARD. In her uniform.
Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
Me: "Didn't you notice that you drove down the ramp through the "Do Not Enter"?
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
Me: ...(dumbfounded look)
Her: "Why don't we just walk up to the manager right now so I can tell them I didn't hit your car."
Me: "Whatever. I don't think so. I think I'll call later and mention that you're parked in a Compact Only spot after you drove down the ramp the wrong direction past no less than 5 big "Do Not Enter" signs."
Her: "You need to go back to school."
...
Me: (Mumbling under my breath now that I'm heading up the staircase a different direction from her, and think I'm out of earshot).. "_itch"
And then a voice comes up from a whole level down, she's apparently opened the door to the stairwell although she's not headed that way...
Her: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Me: "You heard me."
Her: "I didn't hit your car. You need to go back to school."
Me: (Now certain I'm out of earshot): _itch.
Three things notable about this conversation are:
1. Neither of us raised our voices. And we walked calmly side by side until my path diverged from hers.
2. We didn't call each other names within earshot intentionally. She mumbled at me, and I waited until I thought I was alone in the stairwell.
3. Our conversation was so totally juvenille. It could have been between two kids instead of two parents.
The more I reflect on this I think that on the one hand I'm glad I said something. And, I don't think she's a bad person. She's probably a very nice Christian woman - because she didn't curse or rant at me. (Nor did I rant and rave at her.) She just thinks certain rules are optional and I don't.
In this day and age people do really obnoxious things because they seem to think they have some level of anonymity. It's not OK people. If you door ding someone's car - you've damaged it!
I remember when my mom made me leave a note on a ladies' white Cadillac when I was just 16 and had failed to master the manual transmission on my car. I accidentally bumped her Cadillac in a parking lot when the car lurched out of gear and stalled while I was trying to park in a narrow parking spot.
While it didn't leave a mark but for a slight red paint line on the white Caddy, my mom told me to go into EVERY establishment in the mall to find the owner.
I went in, head hung, and announced in each establishment: "Is there a person who owns a white cadillac in here?" No luck. So, my mom insisted the proper thing to do was to leave a note with my phone number on it.
It turns out the Cadillac was owned by an elderly woman who was in the movie theater. She talked with my mom mainly when she called. My mom explained what happened, handed me the phone, I apologized earnestly and offered to pay to fix her paint if necessary. She got very mad at this point and then said she wanted me to pay her lots of money (I think she asked for like a thousand dollars) to "have her car fixed". At this point I handed the phone back to my mom and she took over and insisted the lady get estimates to prove there would be ANY cost, and had she tried rubbing a damp sponge on the spot?
We never heard from her again. Might be that she realized there was no dent. Might also be that she couldn't ever find the tiny red paint spot again to point it out to someone to get an estimate.. because it was THAT minor.
Since that day back when I was 16 I've had people damage my parked cars in far worse ways than I ever did that Cadillac.. and I've never received so much as a "Oops, sorry!" much less an offer to fix the dent. At least twice, memorably, including today's experience, I've been present while someone dented my parked car. In neither case did the person apologize.
I have to say, at least this time I didn't end up in tears. The last time was when I was nursing Michael in the minivan outside of a restaurant we went to for brunch. To spare the other diners, I was nursing in our parked car, with it's tinted windows. And a mean lady yelled at me and called me names. After she hit my car trying to force her gigangous SUV into a parking spot that was partially blocked by another car (on the other side, not our car.) When I recounted the story, sobbing, in the restaurant to my husband, 2 complete strangers at the table next to ours actually got up and patted my back to comfort me and said: "Some people. Just know that not everyone is that way."
Some people, indeed. I don't hate ALL people. Just some. And... if you've dented my car without apologizing, you know which group of people you fall into.
The bus is great. I SO prefer to take the bus. I have a metropass I've pre-paid for a year -- so it's "free", too. However, the bus takes longer than if I drive myself downtown and park for $9 a day. Remembering my morning meetings today - I chose to drive.
What's remarkable about my drive in to downtown today was that it was an unusually smooth commute. Lights went green as I approached. Cars moved out of the lane I wanted to change to, and no one honked, gestured or drove too fast or too slow in my vicinity. It was a far better commute than I usually have. My usual commute is much more obscenity laced and involves near brushes with death almost every time. So, you can imagine the feeling of well-being and peace that I enjoyed after this positively relaxing and surprisingly pleasant drive in to work.
So, I might have seen this coming. I should have expected the other shoe to drop. I should have remembered those lessons from "Tom and Jerry" as a child. As soon as the cat is all relaxed and content, the anvil is sure to fall on his head - WHAM!
I didn't even have to leave the parking garage to meet my anvil.
After finding a parking spot in about the same place I park each time I park in this particular garage, I started gathering up my things in the van and locking up. As I climbed out of the van, next to the ONE LAST spot in this particular area in the garage marked in BIG LETTERS "COMPACT ONLY" (you can see where this is going, right?) I saw a really crappy beat up old blue minivan headed my way.
Actually, to be more accurate.. I heard it first. There must be something wrong with the engine because the whole vehicle seemed to be shaking and shimmy-ing and was making a terrible noise.
What's notable about this is that the direction the van was headed was against the one-way traffic. And, there are signs everywhere saying: "Do not Enter!" -- because the parking garage traffic is one way.
The driver of the van paused, as if contemplating whether or not to break the rules and drive against the one-way traffic. Then she gunned it. Full speed ahead sliding tightly and none-too-neatly into the "COMPACT ONLY" spot next to my van.
This was just about the time that I had walked to the end of my van and was standing looking back at the two parking spots.
I noticed that while she'd squeezed her van into the parking spot not intended for her vehicle's size.. that she had no possible way of getting out of her driver side door. There wasn't enough space for her to open her door. Oh, but she did. And HARD. Right into the side of my van. The front quarter panel side, just above the right front wheel.
I stood there dumbfounded and watched as she tried to squeeze out. She managed to shimmy out - and I could HEAR the metal against metal.
She then walked up to where my jaw was laying on the ground and said: "WHAT?" (in a nasty tone of voice that she never changed her tone from the entire conversation we had).
To which I said: "Um, that's my car you just hit".
She said: "I didn't hit your car."
I said: "Um, yeah, with your door. Getting out."
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
Me: "I watched you. I took a picture of it with my cell phone."
Her: "Gimme that" (reaching for my cell phone)
Me: "No. I think I'll just call the garage management folks and tell them about this."
Her: "Whatever." (mumble mumble grumble - calling me names under her breath)
Me: "Didn't you see the sign that said: "Compact Only"?"
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
I should interupt here to explain that we're both walking, side by side. Although her tone of voice is not nice, she doesn't seem menacing at all. She's a bit older than me - probably late 40s.. she looks like someone's mom and get this... she is a SECURITY GUARD. In her uniform.
Me: "What's your name?"
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
Me: "Didn't you notice that you drove down the ramp through the "Do Not Enter"?
Her: "I didn't hit your car."
Me: ...(dumbfounded look)
Her: "Why don't we just walk up to the manager right now so I can tell them I didn't hit your car."
Me: "Whatever. I don't think so. I think I'll call later and mention that you're parked in a Compact Only spot after you drove down the ramp the wrong direction past no less than 5 big "Do Not Enter" signs."
Her: "You need to go back to school."
...
Me: (Mumbling under my breath now that I'm heading up the staircase a different direction from her, and think I'm out of earshot).. "_itch"
And then a voice comes up from a whole level down, she's apparently opened the door to the stairwell although she's not headed that way...
Her: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Me: "You heard me."
Her: "I didn't hit your car. You need to go back to school."
Me: (Now certain I'm out of earshot): _itch.
Three things notable about this conversation are:
1. Neither of us raised our voices. And we walked calmly side by side until my path diverged from hers.
2. We didn't call each other names within earshot intentionally. She mumbled at me, and I waited until I thought I was alone in the stairwell.
3. Our conversation was so totally juvenille. It could have been between two kids instead of two parents.
The more I reflect on this I think that on the one hand I'm glad I said something. And, I don't think she's a bad person. She's probably a very nice Christian woman - because she didn't curse or rant at me. (Nor did I rant and rave at her.) She just thinks certain rules are optional and I don't.
In this day and age people do really obnoxious things because they seem to think they have some level of anonymity. It's not OK people. If you door ding someone's car - you've damaged it!
I remember when my mom made me leave a note on a ladies' white Cadillac when I was just 16 and had failed to master the manual transmission on my car. I accidentally bumped her Cadillac in a parking lot when the car lurched out of gear and stalled while I was trying to park in a narrow parking spot.
While it didn't leave a mark but for a slight red paint line on the white Caddy, my mom told me to go into EVERY establishment in the mall to find the owner.
I went in, head hung, and announced in each establishment: "Is there a person who owns a white cadillac in here?" No luck. So, my mom insisted the proper thing to do was to leave a note with my phone number on it.
It turns out the Cadillac was owned by an elderly woman who was in the movie theater. She talked with my mom mainly when she called. My mom explained what happened, handed me the phone, I apologized earnestly and offered to pay to fix her paint if necessary. She got very mad at this point and then said she wanted me to pay her lots of money (I think she asked for like a thousand dollars) to "have her car fixed". At this point I handed the phone back to my mom and she took over and insisted the lady get estimates to prove there would be ANY cost, and had she tried rubbing a damp sponge on the spot?
We never heard from her again. Might be that she realized there was no dent. Might also be that she couldn't ever find the tiny red paint spot again to point it out to someone to get an estimate.. because it was THAT minor.
Since that day back when I was 16 I've had people damage my parked cars in far worse ways than I ever did that Cadillac.. and I've never received so much as a "Oops, sorry!" much less an offer to fix the dent. At least twice, memorably, including today's experience, I've been present while someone dented my parked car. In neither case did the person apologize.
I have to say, at least this time I didn't end up in tears. The last time was when I was nursing Michael in the minivan outside of a restaurant we went to for brunch. To spare the other diners, I was nursing in our parked car, with it's tinted windows. And a mean lady yelled at me and called me names. After she hit my car trying to force her gigangous SUV into a parking spot that was partially blocked by another car (on the other side, not our car.) When I recounted the story, sobbing, in the restaurant to my husband, 2 complete strangers at the table next to ours actually got up and patted my back to comfort me and said: "Some people. Just know that not everyone is that way."
Some people, indeed. I don't hate ALL people. Just some. And... if you've dented my car without apologizing, you know which group of people you fall into.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Important things I learned today
You know - some days are just routine. And some days.. some days I really learn something. I learned at least two new pieces of information today:
1. Too much caffiene, chocolate, etc. can cause breast pain.
2. Taking vitamin E, about 400 IU a day, can help ease chronic breast pain.
And, then after some self-reflection, actually learned something that is only really helpful for me:
Even though the pace of life is busy and I am always feeling overwhelmed I MUST start taking better care of myself.
I need to commit to Jenny Craig, going to the YMCA to workout and really working at not eating crap. My blood pressure is crazy high. If I want to be around to actually spend any of my hard earned 401K I had better do something to improve my health.
I was pondering Jenny Craig just because I'm fed up being about 40lbs overweight from being pregnant 3 times since fall 2000. Now that I'm done with having babies it's time to reclaim my body. So, what started as vanity now seems imperative for my health.
Nothing ventured nothing gained - so here goes nothing.
1. Too much caffiene, chocolate, etc. can cause breast pain.
2. Taking vitamin E, about 400 IU a day, can help ease chronic breast pain.
And, then after some self-reflection, actually learned something that is only really helpful for me:
Even though the pace of life is busy and I am always feeling overwhelmed I MUST start taking better care of myself.
I need to commit to Jenny Craig, going to the YMCA to workout and really working at not eating crap. My blood pressure is crazy high. If I want to be around to actually spend any of my hard earned 401K I had better do something to improve my health.
I was pondering Jenny Craig just because I'm fed up being about 40lbs overweight from being pregnant 3 times since fall 2000. Now that I'm done with having babies it's time to reclaim my body. So, what started as vanity now seems imperative for my health.
Nothing ventured nothing gained - so here goes nothing.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Cow Boy
He was a bit confused between "Moo" and "Baa" -- but he was cute nonetheless. He made it to about a half-dozen houses, which is pretty good for just 15 months old.
Grandma and Grandpa discovered that he loves Malted Milk Balls.
Although he doesn't have a lot of words - judging by his excited gesturing and babble he definitely loved his first Trick or Treat outing.
Grandma and Grandpa discovered that he loves Malted Milk Balls.
Although he doesn't have a lot of words - judging by his excited gesturing and babble he definitely loved his first Trick or Treat outing.
Fairy Princess
Apparently age 4 is about the age at which Halloween becomes fun. Our Fairy Princess kept saying:
"I LOVE Halloween. Mommy, isn't Halloween the BEST?!?" and "Next House!!"
"I LOVE Halloween. Mommy, isn't Halloween the BEST?!?" and "Next House!!"
Thursday, October 06, 2005
A belated post from Japan
Some things have changed in Japan - at least that I noticed on my last business trip back there.
- It's no longer OK to characterize people by their Blood Type. It's becoming Taboo.
- At last - free coffee and tea refills are starting to become the norm.
- In Tokyo, things are more bilingual than ever before. Menus in English at more places than not.. they're (intentionally) getting "tourist-friendly".
- More women are remaining unmarried -- just like all big cities around the world. However, in Japan, this is really defying the social norm.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3694230.stm
In the article above, the author referred to the Japanese saying 'deru kugi wa utareru' - the 'nail that sticks out will get hammered'. It is used to denote the person who upsets the social norm.
["Now, women are becoming 'deru kugi' - are sticking out. There's very few males who would say 'that's right, we have to support you.' Instead they (the women) are being hammered," said Dr Ishikawa. ] - excerpted from above (linked) article
Some things remain the same:
- They still overpackage everything. I had some pajamas washed in the hotel - they were wrapped in 2 layers of plastic and had sheets of crinkly paper between their neatly folded layers. C'mon folks- these are PAJAMAS.. not a silk suit.
My purchase from the department store -- much the same. Two different bags (bag within a bag) sealed closed with tape.. But gotta love the pretty papers and bags.. much nicer than anything at home.
- People still smoke everywhere. It's rather annoying actually..when what you're used to is the opposite.
- It's no longer OK to characterize people by their Blood Type. It's becoming Taboo.
- At last - free coffee and tea refills are starting to become the norm.
- In Tokyo, things are more bilingual than ever before. Menus in English at more places than not.. they're (intentionally) getting "tourist-friendly".
- More women are remaining unmarried -- just like all big cities around the world. However, in Japan, this is really defying the social norm.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3694230.stm
In the article above, the author referred to the Japanese saying 'deru kugi wa utareru' - the 'nail that sticks out will get hammered'. It is used to denote the person who upsets the social norm.
["Now, women are becoming 'deru kugi' - are sticking out. There's very few males who would say 'that's right, we have to support you.' Instead they (the women) are being hammered," said Dr Ishikawa. ] - excerpted from above (linked) article
Some things remain the same:
- They still overpackage everything. I had some pajamas washed in the hotel - they were wrapped in 2 layers of plastic and had sheets of crinkly paper between their neatly folded layers. C'mon folks- these are PAJAMAS.. not a silk suit.
My purchase from the department store -- much the same. Two different bags (bag within a bag) sealed closed with tape.. But gotta love the pretty papers and bags.. much nicer than anything at home.
- People still smoke everywhere. It's rather annoying actually..when what you're used to is the opposite.
Monday, August 29, 2005
What is wrong with this picture?
Here are a few hints:
1. This is not my husband.
2. In fact, this is a complete stranger.
3. That is my baby boy in the navy blue shirt and khaki shorts.
4. He is snuggled up against this complete stranger at the MN State Fair.
and.. the biggest problem of all:
5. Look at the stranger's ball cap! It reads: "BUSH CHENEY" and he was wearing a pro-Republican (Pawlenty) button, too!
I was horrified on so many levels.
Baby boy kept crawling over to this man. Sure, the guy was nice and his little boys were cute and were playing with our little one..
And it was very kind of this father to be so friendly to my obviously very confused son...
But, he was a stranger! And baby boy was snuggling against him!
And a REPUBLICAN to boot! (shudder shudder)
Apparently the DFL Nursery Rhymes I've been singing him to sleep with haven't been doing the trick. It's time to change the nursery colors to Blue, place Wellstone stickers on the wall and perhaps a tasteful picture of a smiling Bill Clinton clutching a saxophone near the head of the crib.
1. This is not my husband.
2. In fact, this is a complete stranger.
3. That is my baby boy in the navy blue shirt and khaki shorts.
4. He is snuggled up against this complete stranger at the MN State Fair.
and.. the biggest problem of all:
5. Look at the stranger's ball cap! It reads: "BUSH CHENEY" and he was wearing a pro-Republican (Pawlenty) button, too!
I was horrified on so many levels.
Baby boy kept crawling over to this man. Sure, the guy was nice and his little boys were cute and were playing with our little one..
And it was very kind of this father to be so friendly to my obviously very confused son...
But, he was a stranger! And baby boy was snuggling against him!
And a REPUBLICAN to boot! (shudder shudder)
Apparently the DFL Nursery Rhymes I've been singing him to sleep with haven't been doing the trick. It's time to change the nursery colors to Blue, place Wellstone stickers on the wall and perhaps a tasteful picture of a smiling Bill Clinton clutching a saxophone near the head of the crib.
Friday, August 12, 2005
His new car seat
Normally this space is reserved for 12-oz cans, but a 12 month old will fit as well.
(Witty post by Jeff)
(Witty post by Jeff)
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Don't grow hard
Don't Grow Hard
One evening recently I was too full to finish eating what was on my dinner plate and my three-year old, Lucy, said: "Mommy you need to eat some more protein. Otherwise you won't grow up to be very tall." What a loaded sentence. I'm excited that she identifies protein and that see understands eating well will help her grow up - but my husband and I gently explained that adults are done growing. Then my husband added: "Well, adults grow, but just wider, not taller." We laughed about that, but then later I gave this statement a little more thought.
I think as adults we grow internally. As I grow older, I grow more mellow. Less impulsive.
But, with age and experience, not all the growth I've had is what I want. I don't want to lose the optimistic, somewhat naive and trusting former self I had entirely. I beileve it’s very hard to make it through life without some experiences that hurt your heart – but I don't want to grow hard.
And so today, I will attempt to persuade you, too, to not grow hard. Don't let the adult cares of the world so harden your spirit. I will only cover three points, because that's all time will permit.
1. Smile. Or at least acknowledge others. Don't tune the world out.
2. Don't fall into the self-centered way of "looking out for number 1".
3. Acknowledge good and bad behavior. Don't fall into the belief that it makes everyone else all good or all bad.
Point 1: Have you spent any time walking in a school hallway? Or, in a Children's Museum or some other place where children pass each other? Have you noticed that they naturally smile at each other? Or, shyly stare at one another? They almost never walk past another child or person without noticing them or making eye contact. Even the most reticent of children will not fail to acknowledge someone's presence in the room. Our children can't even sit through a restaurant dinner without smiling at the children at other tables.
At what point do these same children learn to walk through the world at least pretending they don't care who's around them? At what point do we think that we should walk through the skyways with a scowl on our face so no one will step in our way.
I offer up two real-world experiences:
Shortly after Michael was born we were at brunch one Sunday when he became fussy. Rather than bother the other diners in the Dennys, I nursed Michael in our minivan. Because the person in the parking space one space past our had parked crookedly, there wasn't enough space for another car to park directly next to our van. However, this didn't stop people from trying. The lot was crowded after all. One smaller Saturn SUV tried and and gave up. Then a woman with a large white Tahoe squeezed into the spot. I looked up from nursing and our eyes met. She looked at me, looked at my van, looked at the tight spot that wasn't enough room for her to open her drivers door. Then, with one more look my way, she opened her door full force into the side of my van's passenger door. Not slowly, not cautiously.. nor did she try to get out of the empty passenger side of her vehicle, which had more room.. She just opened her door into my van.
The force of this was enough that it rocked the van I was sitting in slightly -- enough to cause the baby to stop nursing. I covered him and me up and opened the sliding side door to the van. I hadn't said a word, just opened the van door - half expecting that this person would be apologetic. But no. The woman prentended I and the baby didn’t exist. I am certain she knew I was there. So, I called out to her: “Hey!” She waved me off. I sobbed through the rest of the meal at Denny's. I'm sure the other diners wondered what was wrong with me. My new minivan had a white paint door ding and that wasn’t what hurt my heart. It was the lack of acknowledgement. My husband went outside and checked the van, he assured me he could rub out the paint and remove the ding. He didn’t understand why this didn’t make it all better. It was that the woman had acted as if I didn’t exist.
Had she greeted me, apologized or even just said: “Woo, tight spot there.” I probably would have just let it go. Door dings happen – that wasn’t the point.
2nd real world experience:
I take the bus every day. The metro transit bus driver changes every few weeks – as they rotate scheduled routes. Rarely do we have the same driver for more than a month or so at a time. However, one driver, who I have nicknamed “Mr Smiley” to myself, is so memorable to me even now, over 2 years later, that if I saw him in a crowd I could pick him out. I couldn’t tell you any of my other drivers’ names or characteristics.. And I don’t know his name – but his face is happily etched in my memory. Because he smiled and greeted EVERY passenger on the bus as we boarded.
SEEING others. Greeting people – even strangers. Treating others with respect – whether by holding doors for people coming behind you, smiling at others or saying: “Good morning!” to those you see IS important. You could become memorable to a complete stranger just by being pleasant instead of being cold or hard.
Point 2:
2. Don't fall into the self-centered way of "looking out for number 1".
With the recent snow, there is a sidewalk I take to reach my bus stop which hadn’t been shoveled – just a narrow path has been worn in the center of it. There was room for one, perhaps two people at the most in this narrow space. So, you’re forced to walk single file in any one direction. I was walking on this sidewalk when two people came walking side by side together chatting. As we reached a point where we had to pass each other, they were unwilling to move from the cleared off path. The only way for me to proceed was to walk into the icy uncleared snowy part of the path. I slipped, and luckily caught myself before I hit the ground… But I felt like an old curmudgeon as I muttered under my breath and wanted to shake my fist at their retreating backs.
Had they, just for a moment, suspended their conversation and had one of them fall back into single file, just long enough for them to pass me on the sidewalk, none of us would have risked falling on the uncleared packed snow.
It takes a little extra effort to train oneself to be sensitive, despite our own busy, fast-paced lives, to other’s needs. But I would implore you to start small, and effect change the only place you can – with your own attitude.
Think of how you drive. Do you drive “defensively” as we’ve all been implored to do? Looking out for the person ready to cut you off and push ahead of you, speeding up to make sure the guy merging from the right has to get in behind you rather than behind you? Or, do you look around and see traffic needs to get into the lane you’re in and either vacate the lane so they can merge or slow down and signal with your hand that they should go ahead?
I find I enjoy time driving much better when I consciously drive to accommodate others. Rather than worrying about when I’ll get someplace or how late I am for daycare pick up or anything else – I try to concentrate on MPR or music and look around for people who need someone to let them into traffic. I’ll even make it a game. I’ll count the number of “happy waves” I get from people grateful I let them merge in front of me and if it exceeds a set number, say 5 for my 25 minute commute home, then it’s been a good drive home.
And finally, point number 3. Acknowledge good and bad behavior. Don't fall into the belief that it makes everyone else all good or all bad.
I make a point to thank profusely kind strangers who let me ahead in the check out lane if I have just one or two items and they have several. And, when I see someone do something despicable I am not afraid to tell my children, if they witness it, that it is NOT OK to do what they’ve just seen. For example, people who throw cigarette butts out their car windows. I see it all the time. My children notice it, too. I am unafraid to say, out loud, that it’s not right, and it’s littering. If the person should happen to overhear me, all the better.
If you don’t want to cause conflict or call people on their faults, that’s probably all the better..In fact, safer in this day and age. It's not the 1940s anymore - and if you catch someone littering and say something about it there's always the chance that they're a psycho with a gun who'll kill you on the spot. Even so, I think it's important to acknowledge it to yourself that what the person has done is not socially acceptable or is morally reprehensible. Does it make them all bad? Certainly not.
The young man who hit my car just a year ago was a very good person. Was it terrible that he hit a pregnant lady because he turned when he shouldn’t have? All the on-lookers were yelling at him and angry at him. I sat in the back of the police car with him and gave him my cell phone so he could call his mom. No, he wasn't a bad person. Life is full of gray areas. We need to remember to slow down and give grace to those who might need it.
One evening recently I was too full to finish eating what was on my dinner plate and my three-year old, Lucy, said: "Mommy you need to eat some more protein. Otherwise you won't grow up to be very tall." What a loaded sentence. I'm excited that she identifies protein and that see understands eating well will help her grow up - but my husband and I gently explained that adults are done growing. Then my husband added: "Well, adults grow, but just wider, not taller." We laughed about that, but then later I gave this statement a little more thought.
I think as adults we grow internally. As I grow older, I grow more mellow. Less impulsive.
But, with age and experience, not all the growth I've had is what I want. I don't want to lose the optimistic, somewhat naive and trusting former self I had entirely. I beileve it’s very hard to make it through life without some experiences that hurt your heart – but I don't want to grow hard.
And so today, I will attempt to persuade you, too, to not grow hard. Don't let the adult cares of the world so harden your spirit. I will only cover three points, because that's all time will permit.
1. Smile. Or at least acknowledge others. Don't tune the world out.
2. Don't fall into the self-centered way of "looking out for number 1".
3. Acknowledge good and bad behavior. Don't fall into the belief that it makes everyone else all good or all bad.
Point 1: Have you spent any time walking in a school hallway? Or, in a Children's Museum or some other place where children pass each other? Have you noticed that they naturally smile at each other? Or, shyly stare at one another? They almost never walk past another child or person without noticing them or making eye contact. Even the most reticent of children will not fail to acknowledge someone's presence in the room. Our children can't even sit through a restaurant dinner without smiling at the children at other tables.
At what point do these same children learn to walk through the world at least pretending they don't care who's around them? At what point do we think that we should walk through the skyways with a scowl on our face so no one will step in our way.
I offer up two real-world experiences:
Shortly after Michael was born we were at brunch one Sunday when he became fussy. Rather than bother the other diners in the Dennys, I nursed Michael in our minivan. Because the person in the parking space one space past our had parked crookedly, there wasn't enough space for another car to park directly next to our van. However, this didn't stop people from trying. The lot was crowded after all. One smaller Saturn SUV tried and and gave up. Then a woman with a large white Tahoe squeezed into the spot. I looked up from nursing and our eyes met. She looked at me, looked at my van, looked at the tight spot that wasn't enough room for her to open her drivers door. Then, with one more look my way, she opened her door full force into the side of my van's passenger door. Not slowly, not cautiously.. nor did she try to get out of the empty passenger side of her vehicle, which had more room.. She just opened her door into my van.
The force of this was enough that it rocked the van I was sitting in slightly -- enough to cause the baby to stop nursing. I covered him and me up and opened the sliding side door to the van. I hadn't said a word, just opened the van door - half expecting that this person would be apologetic. But no. The woman prentended I and the baby didn’t exist. I am certain she knew I was there. So, I called out to her: “Hey!” She waved me off. I sobbed through the rest of the meal at Denny's. I'm sure the other diners wondered what was wrong with me. My new minivan had a white paint door ding and that wasn’t what hurt my heart. It was the lack of acknowledgement. My husband went outside and checked the van, he assured me he could rub out the paint and remove the ding. He didn’t understand why this didn’t make it all better. It was that the woman had acted as if I didn’t exist.
Had she greeted me, apologized or even just said: “Woo, tight spot there.” I probably would have just let it go. Door dings happen – that wasn’t the point.
2nd real world experience:
I take the bus every day. The metro transit bus driver changes every few weeks – as they rotate scheduled routes. Rarely do we have the same driver for more than a month or so at a time. However, one driver, who I have nicknamed “Mr Smiley” to myself, is so memorable to me even now, over 2 years later, that if I saw him in a crowd I could pick him out. I couldn’t tell you any of my other drivers’ names or characteristics.. And I don’t know his name – but his face is happily etched in my memory. Because he smiled and greeted EVERY passenger on the bus as we boarded.
SEEING others. Greeting people – even strangers. Treating others with respect – whether by holding doors for people coming behind you, smiling at others or saying: “Good morning!” to those you see IS important. You could become memorable to a complete stranger just by being pleasant instead of being cold or hard.
Point 2:
2. Don't fall into the self-centered way of "looking out for number 1".
With the recent snow, there is a sidewalk I take to reach my bus stop which hadn’t been shoveled – just a narrow path has been worn in the center of it. There was room for one, perhaps two people at the most in this narrow space. So, you’re forced to walk single file in any one direction. I was walking on this sidewalk when two people came walking side by side together chatting. As we reached a point where we had to pass each other, they were unwilling to move from the cleared off path. The only way for me to proceed was to walk into the icy uncleared snowy part of the path. I slipped, and luckily caught myself before I hit the ground… But I felt like an old curmudgeon as I muttered under my breath and wanted to shake my fist at their retreating backs.
Had they, just for a moment, suspended their conversation and had one of them fall back into single file, just long enough for them to pass me on the sidewalk, none of us would have risked falling on the uncleared packed snow.
It takes a little extra effort to train oneself to be sensitive, despite our own busy, fast-paced lives, to other’s needs. But I would implore you to start small, and effect change the only place you can – with your own attitude.
Think of how you drive. Do you drive “defensively” as we’ve all been implored to do? Looking out for the person ready to cut you off and push ahead of you, speeding up to make sure the guy merging from the right has to get in behind you rather than behind you? Or, do you look around and see traffic needs to get into the lane you’re in and either vacate the lane so they can merge or slow down and signal with your hand that they should go ahead?
I find I enjoy time driving much better when I consciously drive to accommodate others. Rather than worrying about when I’ll get someplace or how late I am for daycare pick up or anything else – I try to concentrate on MPR or music and look around for people who need someone to let them into traffic. I’ll even make it a game. I’ll count the number of “happy waves” I get from people grateful I let them merge in front of me and if it exceeds a set number, say 5 for my 25 minute commute home, then it’s been a good drive home.
And finally, point number 3. Acknowledge good and bad behavior. Don't fall into the belief that it makes everyone else all good or all bad.
I make a point to thank profusely kind strangers who let me ahead in the check out lane if I have just one or two items and they have several. And, when I see someone do something despicable I am not afraid to tell my children, if they witness it, that it is NOT OK to do what they’ve just seen. For example, people who throw cigarette butts out their car windows. I see it all the time. My children notice it, too. I am unafraid to say, out loud, that it’s not right, and it’s littering. If the person should happen to overhear me, all the better.
If you don’t want to cause conflict or call people on their faults, that’s probably all the better..In fact, safer in this day and age. It's not the 1940s anymore - and if you catch someone littering and say something about it there's always the chance that they're a psycho with a gun who'll kill you on the spot. Even so, I think it's important to acknowledge it to yourself that what the person has done is not socially acceptable or is morally reprehensible. Does it make them all bad? Certainly not.
The young man who hit my car just a year ago was a very good person. Was it terrible that he hit a pregnant lady because he turned when he shouldn’t have? All the on-lookers were yelling at him and angry at him. I sat in the back of the police car with him and gave him my cell phone so he could call his mom. No, he wasn't a bad person. Life is full of gray areas. We need to remember to slow down and give grace to those who might need it.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Our dog missed the news that the cold war is over..
...Because she keeps trying to dig a bomb shelter next to the AC unit.
We've tried everything. Chicken wire, rakes over top of the area. We've even put cement patio squares nearby -- but she still manages to move everything aside and dig a few feet deep every few weeks. She's had the unit precariously close to falling on top of her -- though not close enough if you ask my long-suffering (and non-dog-loving) husband.
Our home was built on a former pig farm. I have to wonder if there is something magical (to dog noses) about this particular spot..because she sure could find better spots in our ample yard to get her urge to dig out of her system. But no.
We've tried everything. Chicken wire, rakes over top of the area. We've even put cement patio squares nearby -- but she still manages to move everything aside and dig a few feet deep every few weeks. She's had the unit precariously close to falling on top of her -- though not close enough if you ask my long-suffering (and non-dog-loving) husband.
Our home was built on a former pig farm. I have to wonder if there is something magical (to dog noses) about this particular spot..because she sure could find better spots in our ample yard to get her urge to dig out of her system. But no.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Happy Birthday Baby Boy
My dear baby boy,
My how time flies. I really meant to write up your birth story, oh, about 10 months ago.
And, I apologize that I last updated your Baby Book when you were about 6 months old. I know you know that this is your lot in life as the third child..but please believe me when I tell you that it doesn't mean we love you any less then your oldest sister who's entire first year of life is documented both on video and in countless photos. Or our second child, who had her baptism filmed - when all you got was one lousy photo out front of the church.
Please trust me that we are too busy playing with you, holding you and showing you how much we love you to put you down and grab the camera - and, with time, we've mellowed so much as parents that we're more interested in watching you explore the world than we are in documenting each gurgle and gassy smile like we were in the past.
I assure you --this has it's benefits. You get to try things at a younger age. Things that never occurred to us when your siblings were babies. For example, neither of your sisters had a Bouncy Castle for THEIR First Birthday party. We would never have thought to see if they liked that. Now that we know how much you love to bounce - well, it's the perfect thing to have for YOUR first birthday.
We so love you, our dear Bubba. You have grown so much this first year. You are your own little person. You have nearly 4 teeth - and got teeth younger than either of your siblings! You are brave, and so cheerful and easy going that you are the envy of all our friends and family. We KNOW how lucky we are to have you - and we love each minute we spend with you.
I like to think of your sweet personality as payback for the miserable time I had when you were in my belly. I was sick all 8 months, until my kind Doctor induced labor a full month early. You were over a month early and you were still 7 lbs 8 oz! Your birth was so easy - just like your first year of life.
I remember the nurses laughing at me as I tried to quilt while they hooked me to countless IVs and medical devices. Mostly the day passed in a haze..Daddy and I sat and talked quietly. We listened to some music. I think we sent emails to family. You were born early in the evening. We were all downstairs ready to go to sleep by 11pm. And then, then I woke up just after midnight and missed you - because they'd taken you to the nursery. I got up, just a few hours after giving birth, and walked down to the nursery to claim you. You had just been bathed and were wide awake and mad. I held you and you just melted into my arms with relief. And now.. 12 months later to the day.. you still do this. And now you hug back.
Happy Birthday my son. Your father and I love you more than words can say.
My how time flies. I really meant to write up your birth story, oh, about 10 months ago.
And, I apologize that I last updated your Baby Book when you were about 6 months old. I know you know that this is your lot in life as the third child..but please believe me when I tell you that it doesn't mean we love you any less then your oldest sister who's entire first year of life is documented both on video and in countless photos. Or our second child, who had her baptism filmed - when all you got was one lousy photo out front of the church.
Please trust me that we are too busy playing with you, holding you and showing you how much we love you to put you down and grab the camera - and, with time, we've mellowed so much as parents that we're more interested in watching you explore the world than we are in documenting each gurgle and gassy smile like we were in the past.
I assure you --this has it's benefits. You get to try things at a younger age. Things that never occurred to us when your siblings were babies. For example, neither of your sisters had a Bouncy Castle for THEIR First Birthday party. We would never have thought to see if they liked that. Now that we know how much you love to bounce - well, it's the perfect thing to have for YOUR first birthday.
We so love you, our dear Bubba. You have grown so much this first year. You are your own little person. You have nearly 4 teeth - and got teeth younger than either of your siblings! You are brave, and so cheerful and easy going that you are the envy of all our friends and family. We KNOW how lucky we are to have you - and we love each minute we spend with you.
I like to think of your sweet personality as payback for the miserable time I had when you were in my belly. I was sick all 8 months, until my kind Doctor induced labor a full month early. You were over a month early and you were still 7 lbs 8 oz! Your birth was so easy - just like your first year of life.
I remember the nurses laughing at me as I tried to quilt while they hooked me to countless IVs and medical devices. Mostly the day passed in a haze..Daddy and I sat and talked quietly. We listened to some music. I think we sent emails to family. You were born early in the evening. We were all downstairs ready to go to sleep by 11pm. And then, then I woke up just after midnight and missed you - because they'd taken you to the nursery. I got up, just a few hours after giving birth, and walked down to the nursery to claim you. You had just been bathed and were wide awake and mad. I held you and you just melted into my arms with relief. And now.. 12 months later to the day.. you still do this. And now you hug back.
Happy Birthday my son. Your father and I love you more than words can say.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Always be Prepared
*Note: This post is the text from a speech I gave about a month ago..
While I spent time trying to figure out what I should do about my speech, three different co-workers stopped by my cube and said things like:
"Hey, do you have..." and without taking notice I handed out a band-aid, an Advil and an extra Post-it Note Pad from my collection.
And then it hit me. I should share with everyone another thing about myself. It's not really a secret - if you worked closely with me you'd already know this:
I am ALWAYS prepared. In the Boy Scout sense of the phrase.
You know how Grandma's purse is always chock-full of STUFF. With mints rolling around loose in the bottom that pre-date the Reagan administration?
You know how mom's invariably have tissues tucked away in some pocket for runny toddler noses - no matter where and when?
I am that mom. I am (in the future) that Grandma.
At work, I am THAT WOMAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING.
People who don't even know my name at work know that if they need a finger nail file in the middle of the workday, they should come to my cube.
I can be counted upon as a mini-Office Depot. I have scissors, staples, post-it notes and manila folders ready to give away at any moment. I have enough for me and for anyone else who might ask.
I am PREPARED.
My coworkers know that if they help me out I'm likely to share my secret stash of chocolate covered pretzels. Or if they get a spot on their shirt I have cleaning wipes and a Tide pen to help dab at their stain.
My boss one day forgot her lunch and I fed her an EXTRA frozen meal that I'd brought complete with snacks for dessert from my never-ending filing cabinet o' snacks. I have Oatmeal in case someone needs breakfast one morning. I don't eat Oatmeal, I just have an ample supply of instant oatmeal packets in my drawers.
I also have no less than 4 kinds of teas.
I have an (empty) flower vase stored in a bottom drawer, several spare mugs, extra graph paper note pads brought from home and every color ink pen known to man (or woman).
When a coworker is feeling ill, they just come to my Filing Drawer Pharmacy.
What Ails you? Tummy? Headache? Sinuses? I've got you covered.
I also have every manner of cleaning product, too. Antibacterial handwipes, monitor wipes, and desktop cleaning wipes. (I leave the baby wipes at home.)
In preparing for this speech I also discovered that I am still a miniature IT help desk in my own right. I have extra mice (3), extra laptop batteries, extra CD ROM players (2), two Laptop travel cases, extra locking cables (2), extra mouses pads (2) and extra LAN cables. I even have an extra set (2) of headphones in case you want to listen to music on your PC and forgot your headphones.
I play IT help desk to our internal project group frequently, we've all just gotten used to it - the times that one of us has had to leave for a trip only to realize our battery won't hold a charge or we need a laptop bag and I quietly hand the needed item over have become so frequent it's just expected now. I don't mind a bit - I'm just that way.
You'd never know it from looking at my desk area, because it's rather tidy. But my filing cabinets reveal the truth:
I AM ALWAYS PREPARED.
While I spent time trying to figure out what I should do about my speech, three different co-workers stopped by my cube and said things like:
"Hey, do you have..." and without taking notice I handed out a band-aid, an Advil and an extra Post-it Note Pad from my collection.
And then it hit me. I should share with everyone another thing about myself. It's not really a secret - if you worked closely with me you'd already know this:
I am ALWAYS prepared. In the Boy Scout sense of the phrase.
You know how Grandma's purse is always chock-full of STUFF. With mints rolling around loose in the bottom that pre-date the Reagan administration?
You know how mom's invariably have tissues tucked away in some pocket for runny toddler noses - no matter where and when?
I am that mom. I am (in the future) that Grandma.
At work, I am THAT WOMAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING.
People who don't even know my name at work know that if they need a finger nail file in the middle of the workday, they should come to my cube.
I can be counted upon as a mini-Office Depot. I have scissors, staples, post-it notes and manila folders ready to give away at any moment. I have enough for me and for anyone else who might ask.
I am PREPARED.
My coworkers know that if they help me out I'm likely to share my secret stash of chocolate covered pretzels. Or if they get a spot on their shirt I have cleaning wipes and a Tide pen to help dab at their stain.
My boss one day forgot her lunch and I fed her an EXTRA frozen meal that I'd brought complete with snacks for dessert from my never-ending filing cabinet o' snacks. I have Oatmeal in case someone needs breakfast one morning. I don't eat Oatmeal, I just have an ample supply of instant oatmeal packets in my drawers.
I also have no less than 4 kinds of teas.
I have an (empty) flower vase stored in a bottom drawer, several spare mugs, extra graph paper note pads brought from home and every color ink pen known to man (or woman).
When a coworker is feeling ill, they just come to my Filing Drawer Pharmacy.
What Ails you? Tummy? Headache? Sinuses? I've got you covered.
I also have every manner of cleaning product, too. Antibacterial handwipes, monitor wipes, and desktop cleaning wipes. (I leave the baby wipes at home.)
In preparing for this speech I also discovered that I am still a miniature IT help desk in my own right. I have extra mice (3), extra laptop batteries, extra CD ROM players (2), two Laptop travel cases, extra locking cables (2), extra mouses pads (2) and extra LAN cables. I even have an extra set (2) of headphones in case you want to listen to music on your PC and forgot your headphones.
I play IT help desk to our internal project group frequently, we've all just gotten used to it - the times that one of us has had to leave for a trip only to realize our battery won't hold a charge or we need a laptop bag and I quietly hand the needed item over have become so frequent it's just expected now. I don't mind a bit - I'm just that way.
You'd never know it from looking at my desk area, because it's rather tidy. But my filing cabinets reveal the truth:
I AM ALWAYS PREPARED.
Monday, June 27, 2005
Can't Take My Mind Off of You..
What started about a month or two ago as a simple thought (my sister-in-law sent a link to a nice house for sale closer to where they live, and then I noticed a nice house for sale near our daughter's best friend's house).. has now turned into a total obsession. We are full-on house hunting.
It's kind of hurting my head. I can't get floor plans, kitchen cabinets, square footage and decorating thoughts out of my head to save my life. I fall asleep imagining how the children's new rooms will look. I wake up wondering if Pergo or Real Wood floors would be better for us. I fret over fencing options for the yard while brushing my teeth. I need a mental break -- and I worry I won't get one until we buy a place and get over this with the inevitable next emotion: Buyers Regret.
Every home I've purchased (only 2 so far) has made me very happy. But not initially. Initially I find myself wracked with worry over it being too big, too expensive or somehow unsuitable in another way. Now our house is too small. It really is. We love it, but it's TOO SMALL. We'd stay here, despite the road noise and lack of storage..if only we had another bedroom or two. No chance of adding on - believe me we considered that first.
So, now I spend every waking moment on the MLS Search. We've picked a realtor - and she's coming to do a "market analysis" on our house tonight. I've even started prepping our house for sale. Painted all the outside trim that was peeling and cleared some clutter from the kitchen. Hubby rented the Rug Doctor and cleaned all the carpet. It looks so nice it makes it even harder to part with our beautiful home. But, we will. And, judging by the current status of my obsession for a new, larger home -- we will likely part with this home this summer.. and by Labor Day be in our new one. And then I can hush the noise in my mind over carpet, paint and floor plans. And replace it with a new series of voices in my head: "OHMYGODWHATHAVEWEDONE? How will we pay for this?"
It's kind of hurting my head. I can't get floor plans, kitchen cabinets, square footage and decorating thoughts out of my head to save my life. I fall asleep imagining how the children's new rooms will look. I wake up wondering if Pergo or Real Wood floors would be better for us. I fret over fencing options for the yard while brushing my teeth. I need a mental break -- and I worry I won't get one until we buy a place and get over this with the inevitable next emotion: Buyers Regret.
Every home I've purchased (only 2 so far) has made me very happy. But not initially. Initially I find myself wracked with worry over it being too big, too expensive or somehow unsuitable in another way. Now our house is too small. It really is. We love it, but it's TOO SMALL. We'd stay here, despite the road noise and lack of storage..if only we had another bedroom or two. No chance of adding on - believe me we considered that first.
So, now I spend every waking moment on the MLS Search. We've picked a realtor - and she's coming to do a "market analysis" on our house tonight. I've even started prepping our house for sale. Painted all the outside trim that was peeling and cleared some clutter from the kitchen. Hubby rented the Rug Doctor and cleaned all the carpet. It looks so nice it makes it even harder to part with our beautiful home. But, we will. And, judging by the current status of my obsession for a new, larger home -- we will likely part with this home this summer.. and by Labor Day be in our new one. And then I can hush the noise in my mind over carpet, paint and floor plans. And replace it with a new series of voices in my head: "OHMYGODWHATHAVEWEDONE? How will we pay for this?"
..same party
The girls are very intent on trying to fill water balloons from the sprinkler. They had a great time at the party, too.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Bridge back to the boat house
It's been a rough adjustment back to the working world after our brief trip to the Adirondacks. What I wouldn't give to be there still..
Best of all was spending all day everyday with my kids and hubby. I miss them.
Best of all was spending all day everyday with my kids and hubby. I miss them.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Teaching Our Children ALL the Words in the English Language
Last weekend we had a (rather sudden) road trip to Milwaukee and stayed in a hotel. It became a special fun weekend for the kids filled with swimming in the hotel pool, new toys from the Goodwill in Madison (our favorite - it's the best!) and more meals at McDonald's than I thought were gastronomically and calorically feasible.
I'm not sure what brought it up - but while we sat on the hotel room floor cross legged (ewww!! Can you just imagine the filth on that floor?) letting the kids eat tons of candy (bad mommy.. at least the baby only had part of one or two Dots..) somehow the expression "ho" came up. And my dear husband explained just what the word meant and how to use it. What a banner weekend for our parenting skills. We spoiled the kids rotten with candy, meals out and new toys.. and taught them the word HO.
So, when the phone call comes from my 7.5 year old step-daughter's bio mom or my 4 year old's preschool teacher tells us our daughter will not be welcomed back at their Christian preschool for the next school year.. We'll know why.
Alternatively, if the girls and I are shopping at Target and they see those Bratz dolls and say out loud: "I don't want a Bratz doll. They all look like skanky hos." I will beam proudly at them and hope the other mother's overhear their proper use of the word: "HO".
I'm not sure what brought it up - but while we sat on the hotel room floor cross legged (ewww!! Can you just imagine the filth on that floor?) letting the kids eat tons of candy (bad mommy.. at least the baby only had part of one or two Dots..) somehow the expression "ho" came up. And my dear husband explained just what the word meant and how to use it. What a banner weekend for our parenting skills. We spoiled the kids rotten with candy, meals out and new toys.. and taught them the word HO.
So, when the phone call comes from my 7.5 year old step-daughter's bio mom or my 4 year old's preschool teacher tells us our daughter will not be welcomed back at their Christian preschool for the next school year.. We'll know why.
Alternatively, if the girls and I are shopping at Target and they see those Bratz dolls and say out loud: "I don't want a Bratz doll. They all look like skanky hos." I will beam proudly at them and hope the other mother's overhear their proper use of the word: "HO".
Seems apt, scarily enough...
| Your Birthdate: July 13 |
| Being born on the 13th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer, but it may also give you a tendency to dominate people a bit. You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize. Sincere and honest, you are a serious, hard working individual. Your feelings are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times. You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details. Your intolerance and insistence on complete accuracy can be irritating to some. |
Thursday, May 05, 2005
List of Threes
Stolen shamelessly from another Blog I admire - but the answers are all my own.
Feel free to take and answer your own, too.
"List of Threes"
Three names you go by:
1. Mommy
2. Carolyn
3. Fart-face (you'd have to know my husband to know that this is a term of endearment and I do not have a flatulence problem!)
Three screen names you have:
1. cea9
2. Okaasan
3. c e anderson9
Three things you like about yourself:
1. I am a hard worker.
2. I can be funny (when I'm not being bitchy).
3. I have a knack for foreign languages.
Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. I can be bitchy at times.
2. I tend to be judgemental or critical in nature (thanks for the genetics Dad!).
3. My current physical shape and size. I know it's temporary - but it's getting on my nerves.
Three parts of your heritage:
1. German
2. German
3. German
Three things that scare you:
1. Things that go bump in the night.
2. The thought of harm befalling my children
3. Random home invasion.
Can I have 4? I'm a really anxious person:
4. World opinion of the U.S. thanks to 8 years of Bush Administration (lack of) Foreign Policy.
Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Iced Tea
2. Pressed powder (e.g. Cover Girl)
3. Music
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Goodwill Old Navy shirt (looks Asian-y, Black w/ Lotus flower and criss-cross Kimono(?) type stiching)
2. Black cardigan
3. Hand me down pants from my (now much skinnier) friend Angie.
Three of your favorite bands/artists:
1. Tegan + Sara
2. Razorlight
3. Snow Patrol...
but ask me again in 5 minutes and the list will have changed again.
Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. "Somewhere Else" - Razorlight
2. "Bam Thwok" - Pixies
3. "Since U Been Gone" - Kelly Clarkson
Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Downsizing - my body, hours at work and clutter in the house.
2. Riding my bike on a more regular basis.
3. Piping Hot Binding - a new quilting technique
Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Witty repartee
2. Intelligent conversation
3. Honesty
Three things you just can't do:
1. Run a marathon.. heck, run 1000 yards for that much.
2. Most sports. Basically anything requiring excellent coordination
3. Lately... can't seem to balance the checkbook anymore. Lost that ability sometime during my last pregnancy. Poof! Gone.
Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Quilting
2. Reading (fiction / blogs/ trashy magazines)
3. Crossword puzzles
Three things you want to do very much right now:
1. Quilt
2. Read
3. Write
Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. New Zealand
2. Disney (with the kids)
3. Coastal South Carolina
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Go to New Zealand.
2. Finish several quilts and publish a book.
3. See my children successful and happy as adults.
Feel free to take and answer your own, too.
"List of Threes"
Three names you go by:
1. Mommy
2. Carolyn
3. Fart-face (you'd have to know my husband to know that this is a term of endearment and I do not have a flatulence problem!)
Three screen names you have:
1. cea9
2. Okaasan
3. c e anderson9
Three things you like about yourself:
1. I am a hard worker.
2. I can be funny (when I'm not being bitchy).
3. I have a knack for foreign languages.
Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. I can be bitchy at times.
2. I tend to be judgemental or critical in nature (thanks for the genetics Dad!).
3. My current physical shape and size. I know it's temporary - but it's getting on my nerves.
Three parts of your heritage:
1. German
2. German
3. German
Three things that scare you:
1. Things that go bump in the night.
2. The thought of harm befalling my children
3. Random home invasion.
Can I have 4? I'm a really anxious person:
4. World opinion of the U.S. thanks to 8 years of Bush Administration (lack of) Foreign Policy.
Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Iced Tea
2. Pressed powder (e.g. Cover Girl)
3. Music
Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Goodwill Old Navy shirt (looks Asian-y, Black w/ Lotus flower and criss-cross Kimono(?) type stiching)
2. Black cardigan
3. Hand me down pants from my (now much skinnier) friend Angie.
Three of your favorite bands/artists:
1. Tegan + Sara
2. Razorlight
3. Snow Patrol...
but ask me again in 5 minutes and the list will have changed again.
Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. "Somewhere Else" - Razorlight
2. "Bam Thwok" - Pixies
3. "Since U Been Gone" - Kelly Clarkson
Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Downsizing - my body, hours at work and clutter in the house.
2. Riding my bike on a more regular basis.
3. Piping Hot Binding - a new quilting technique
Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Witty repartee
2. Intelligent conversation
3. Honesty
Three things you just can't do:
1. Run a marathon.. heck, run 1000 yards for that much.
2. Most sports. Basically anything requiring excellent coordination
3. Lately... can't seem to balance the checkbook anymore. Lost that ability sometime during my last pregnancy. Poof! Gone.
Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Quilting
2. Reading (fiction / blogs/ trashy magazines)
3. Crossword puzzles
Three things you want to do very much right now:
1. Quilt
2. Read
3. Write
Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. New Zealand
2. Disney (with the kids)
3. Coastal South Carolina
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Go to New Zealand.
2. Finish several quilts and publish a book.
3. See my children successful and happy as adults.
Monday, April 11, 2005
The Kids
These are my beautiful children. This picture is the best representation of their personalities that I've ever seen. I thank my lovely friend H for her photography skills.. she totally captured their little quirks perfectly. If you ever need a photographer (children, weddings, landscapes) ...let me know and I can get you in contact with H. (Helps if you're in the Chicagoland area.)
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Why do the teenage years start in Elementary school now?
I remember my own years in Elementary school pretty well. I loved school. I bordered on being a "Teacher's Pet"/"Suck Up" type kid. I was forever curled up someplace in the house, or up in a homemade hammock in the backyard apple trees reading a book. I loved "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" and all the Judy Blume books and even a few other books that my grade school librarian slipped me that were WAAAY too old for me.
I was an well-read but naive kid. I remember nearing Junior High when some kids on the playground cornered me one day and said: "Hey, do you know what a rubber is?" I said, to everyone's great amusement: "You mean like Galoshes?" I was so sheltered.
Of course, I could only hope my own kids could grow up so untouched by the ways of the world. One of my greatest goals in life now as a parent is to shelter them enough to extend their childhood and not prematurely subject them to the concerns of the adult world.. but to let them be independent enough to not grow up dependent on me for decisions or good judgments.
That is the ultimate balancing act - the high wire walk I attempt routinely. I fail a lot.
But, complicating that is the outside world. It's so different from when I was little. There are more hoochie-mama outfits and materialistic influences. My god, there are those BRATZ dolls that look like Barbie hooker-wanna-bes.
Our oldest got her ears pierced this week. I was unconvinced that the time was right - but my vote counts for less than her mother's and father's. (I'm the step-mom.) She's long had the attitude that I expected I wouldn't see until Jr. High. The deep sighs, the rolling of eyes (even our 3 year old has mastered the "Oh Mom GEEZ" look coupled with the full eye rolling hands on hips exasperated stance)..
The girls she plays with in our neighborhood wear jean jackets over belly baring tops and low-rise jeans. They wear more makeup (though it's only lipgloss, eye glitter, body glitter) than I do. They don't even pretend to respect me. They sneer and say: "Is -insert daughter's name here-there?" They either haven't been taught, or find it unimportant to greet me personally. No "Hello Mrs. X, is Y there?"
These are 7, 8 and 9 year olds. Not 13, 14 or 15 year olds. THAT is what shocks me. I always thought this attitude would be something we wouldn't see till later in life.
Mind you, the battles are minor these days. She doesn't care that much what she wears or what the labels on her clothes say. She is more interested in stuffed animals and Polly Pockets than boys or talking on the phone. But, in just the past twelve months our 2nd grader has now had her first "boyfriend" (whuh?! Don't you mean a boy who is a friend?!) and has gone from never having heard of Claire's to deciding that Claire's is "The BEST store in the world for a girl!".
I am now daily puzzled by how to simultaneously boost her self-esteem, support her growing independence from us, her parents, and yet help her hold on to her childhood years and preventing her from prematurely growing wise in the ways of the world that are scary, harsh or hurtful to her heart. This is a difficult dance. I expected this - sure, for her pre-teen and teen years. What I didn't expect is that it would start so much earlier - during her first couple of years in Elementary school.
I was an well-read but naive kid. I remember nearing Junior High when some kids on the playground cornered me one day and said: "Hey, do you know what a rubber is?" I said, to everyone's great amusement: "You mean like Galoshes?" I was so sheltered.
Of course, I could only hope my own kids could grow up so untouched by the ways of the world. One of my greatest goals in life now as a parent is to shelter them enough to extend their childhood and not prematurely subject them to the concerns of the adult world.. but to let them be independent enough to not grow up dependent on me for decisions or good judgments.
That is the ultimate balancing act - the high wire walk I attempt routinely. I fail a lot.
But, complicating that is the outside world. It's so different from when I was little. There are more hoochie-mama outfits and materialistic influences. My god, there are those BRATZ dolls that look like Barbie hooker-wanna-bes.
Our oldest got her ears pierced this week. I was unconvinced that the time was right - but my vote counts for less than her mother's and father's. (I'm the step-mom.) She's long had the attitude that I expected I wouldn't see until Jr. High. The deep sighs, the rolling of eyes (even our 3 year old has mastered the "Oh Mom GEEZ" look coupled with the full eye rolling hands on hips exasperated stance)..
The girls she plays with in our neighborhood wear jean jackets over belly baring tops and low-rise jeans. They wear more makeup (though it's only lipgloss, eye glitter, body glitter) than I do. They don't even pretend to respect me. They sneer and say: "Is -insert daughter's name here-
These are 7, 8 and 9 year olds. Not 13, 14 or 15 year olds. THAT is what shocks me. I always thought this attitude would be something we wouldn't see till later in life.
Mind you, the battles are minor these days. She doesn't care that much what she wears or what the labels on her clothes say. She is more interested in stuffed animals and Polly Pockets than boys or talking on the phone. But, in just the past twelve months our 2nd grader has now had her first "boyfriend" (whuh?! Don't you mean a boy who is a friend?!) and has gone from never having heard of Claire's to deciding that Claire's is "The BEST store in the world for a girl!".
I am now daily puzzled by how to simultaneously boost her self-esteem, support her growing independence from us, her parents, and yet help her hold on to her childhood years and preventing her from prematurely growing wise in the ways of the world that are scary, harsh or hurtful to her heart. This is a difficult dance. I expected this - sure, for her pre-teen and teen years. What I didn't expect is that it would start so much earlier - during her first couple of years in Elementary school.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Cruel and Unusual Punishment
A scene from our house this evening as I sit down to attempt to play with my blog and compose a post:
Hubby: "OK kids..now that you're done brushing your teeth I'd like you to go into the office where mommy is and start ALL the noise making toys. ALL the dancing and singing Elmos, the music.."
Me: "AARRGGGH - NOooooo... Girls do NOT listen to your father.."
Girls: "Hee hee.. OK Daddy.. Hahahahahaha"
Me: "No, really, guys.. no... you'll wake up the baby... Whuh..NOoooooo!"
Hubby: "It's time to put the girls to bed. That oughta get you off the computer."
It's either listen to another round of the Elmo Chicken Dance song or leave the room and kiss the girlies goodnight. No contest - I'm outta here.
Hubby: "OK kids..now that you're done brushing your teeth I'd like you to go into the office where mommy is and start ALL the noise making toys. ALL the dancing and singing Elmos, the music.."
Me: "AARRGGGH - NOooooo... Girls do NOT listen to your father.."
Girls: "Hee hee.. OK Daddy.. Hahahahahaha"
Me: "No, really, guys.. no... you'll wake up the baby... Whuh..NOoooooo!"
Hubby: "It's time to put the girls to bed. That oughta get you off the computer."
It's either listen to another round of the Elmo Chicken Dance song or leave the room and kiss the girlies goodnight. No contest - I'm outta here.
Monday, March 21, 2005
A Gold Star on my Mommy Chart
First, an observation. On a blog that I regularly read the author (Tertia) asked everyone to sort of "blog roll" - to comment on where they're from, among other things. It got hard to read all the comments (over 570 when I commented) but from those that I DID read, I paid special attention to the other folks from MN (like me). And so I checked out (the blogs of) some of the other MN located women. There was a common theme in the naming of their blogs: "Bad Mama", "Cursing Mama" ... and me : "Geeky Mama". Woo boy, a bunch of braggers aren't we? I guess if you're from MN you don't title your blog: "Hot Mama" or "Super Model in Skimpy Bikini Mama".
And now - a report on what a good mommy I was this weekend.
I feel like I have another jewel in my heavenly crown (ha! I can't even type that with a straight face)..because, normally I'm not this good at the job.. but THIS weekend.. I was UBER-MOMMY.
I had all three kids by myself (Hubby was away on business) and I made a truly special weekend for them. They were all fed nutritious, home-cooked (well, as home-cooked as any of my meals ever are) meals and snacks, went to a water park and Build-a-Bear (rip off! - but they loved it) workshop. We also went to the library, read books, listened to wholesome (yet fun!) kid music, Sunday school for Easter/Palm Sunday crafty-activities.. Bedtimes were early, naps were on-schedule, medications administered on-time.
Dude, it's like I was channeling Mary freakin' Poppins. Of course, I now feel like I was run over by a Mack Truck and my eyes are the size of tiny pins with large dark circles under 'em..but, I feel triumphant. I did it! I nurtured, entertained and was totally patient yet firm. No crabbing at them, no yelling, no: "Here, watch a video while mommy reads her People magazine". For me, this is my pinnacle. I'm thinking this is about as good as I get at the mommy-thing.
There is no coincidence, however, though that as I drove to work this morning my blood pressure dropped a few notches as I cranked up the Faith No More in the freshly emptied minivan.
And now - a report on what a good mommy I was this weekend.
I feel like I have another jewel in my heavenly crown (ha! I can't even type that with a straight face)..because, normally I'm not this good at the job.. but THIS weekend.. I was UBER-MOMMY.
I had all three kids by myself (Hubby was away on business) and I made a truly special weekend for them. They were all fed nutritious, home-cooked (well, as home-cooked as any of my meals ever are) meals and snacks, went to a water park and Build-a-Bear (rip off! - but they loved it) workshop. We also went to the library, read books, listened to wholesome (yet fun!) kid music, Sunday school for Easter/Palm Sunday crafty-activities.. Bedtimes were early, naps were on-schedule, medications administered on-time.
Dude, it's like I was channeling Mary freakin' Poppins. Of course, I now feel like I was run over by a Mack Truck and my eyes are the size of tiny pins with large dark circles under 'em..but, I feel triumphant. I did it! I nurtured, entertained and was totally patient yet firm. No crabbing at them, no yelling, no: "Here, watch a video while mommy reads her People magazine". For me, this is my pinnacle. I'm thinking this is about as good as I get at the mommy-thing.
There is no coincidence, however, though that as I drove to work this morning my blood pressure dropped a few notches as I cranked up the Faith No More in the freshly emptied minivan.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
What I Said... What I Meant..
Transcribed from Tuesday Night in Tokyo
Client Side Proj. Manager: "So, how's it being in Japan? Having a good time then?"
The answer I gave: "Uh, sure, uh nice."
The answer I meant:
I've cried for over 2 hours straight now. Today there was a small earthquake that scared the crap out of me. At the end of the day I ran into a glass door at the client site and nearly knocked myself senseless, not to mention the embarassment..as 50 heads popped up from their cubicle at the sound of the loud "GONG" to see the stupid Gaijin ran into a glass door.
I've discovered that engorgement lasts for days and it hurts like hell. I miss my baby, my kids and my husband much more painfully than the bump on my head from the glass door. But, maybe equally painful as engorgement.. 'Cause I think *childbirth hurt less than this. (*Granted, I had the epidural)
I've been working until I literally pass out from exhaustion, sometimes fully clothed and sitting upright. I wake up at 5am and work until I leave for the client site. Then, I work all day at the client site. Then I return to the hotel, plug the computer back in and work until I find myself asleep at the desk around 11pm. Then I wake up at 5am and do it all again..
Good times. Good times. Oh yes, having good times in Tokyo.
Not.
Client Side Proj. Manager: "So, how's it being in Japan? Having a good time then?"
The answer I gave: "Uh, sure, uh nice."
The answer I meant:
I've cried for over 2 hours straight now. Today there was a small earthquake that scared the crap out of me. At the end of the day I ran into a glass door at the client site and nearly knocked myself senseless, not to mention the embarassment..as 50 heads popped up from their cubicle at the sound of the loud "GONG" to see the stupid Gaijin ran into a glass door.
I've discovered that engorgement lasts for days and it hurts like hell. I miss my baby, my kids and my husband much more painfully than the bump on my head from the glass door. But, maybe equally painful as engorgement.. 'Cause I think *childbirth hurt less than this. (*Granted, I had the epidural)
I've been working until I literally pass out from exhaustion, sometimes fully clothed and sitting upright. I wake up at 5am and work until I leave for the client site. Then, I work all day at the client site. Then I return to the hotel, plug the computer back in and work until I find myself asleep at the desk around 11pm. Then I wake up at 5am and do it all again..
Good times. Good times. Oh yes, having good times in Tokyo.
Not.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
I'm still here.. I promise
I haven't forgotten to post. I've been unable. It's been a bit hectic. I have all sorts of things rumbling around in my head..but no time to jot them down.
In a brief list:
- new potential job lead. V. v. Exciting prospect.
- I am all that and a bag a chips. I have kept the children and pets alive and the house in a semi-clean state all while working 40+ hour weeks, without the hubby for 10 consecutive days and counting. Through cat puke, kid puke, illness (mine), snow, work deadlines and two garbage pickup days -- I sucked it up and we survived in good shape. In fact, we're all getting healthy and are caught up on laundry.
Still... I am so counting the minutes until Hubby gets home. Major kudos to anyone who does the single-parenting thing with a newborn and a preschooler on a more permanent basis. I adapted, but I sure didn't like it...it's like a multi-day marathon, with a few sprints thrown in. Sprint to the bus, sprint to work, sprint to pick up the kids..sprint to pick up the crying baby and the phone at the same time.. Zero personal time. Which is particularly hard for someone like me who recharges by being A-L-O-N-E.
- Saw wonderful Prairie Home Companion show.. LIVE. Probably had flecks of spit from Garrison K. on my shirt. We were -that- close. I am going to buy a Ricky Skaggs CD. It's so muscially amazing that it's worth the embarassment to confess I will own a "country" music (well, Bluegrass, to be more specific) CD. It will come home and be stored proudly next to my Front242 and Sisters Of Mercy CDs and hopefully they'll all get along just fine..
- T-Minus 4 days till I depart for Japan. I am actually feeling ready to be done with the breast-feeding thing.. and baby boy is digging his new formula.. so I'm not beating myself up about weaning, or this work trip, anymore. I'm moving on to SHEER TERROR about how unprepared I am for the work to be done at the client site.
And speaking of work to be done.. I need to get back to it...
In a brief list:
- new potential job lead. V. v. Exciting prospect.
- I am all that and a bag a chips. I have kept the children and pets alive and the house in a semi-clean state all while working 40+ hour weeks, without the hubby for 10 consecutive days and counting. Through cat puke, kid puke, illness (mine), snow, work deadlines and two garbage pickup days -- I sucked it up and we survived in good shape. In fact, we're all getting healthy and are caught up on laundry.
Still... I am so counting the minutes until Hubby gets home. Major kudos to anyone who does the single-parenting thing with a newborn and a preschooler on a more permanent basis. I adapted, but I sure didn't like it...it's like a multi-day marathon, with a few sprints thrown in. Sprint to the bus, sprint to work, sprint to pick up the kids..sprint to pick up the crying baby and the phone at the same time.. Zero personal time. Which is particularly hard for someone like me who recharges by being A-L-O-N-E.
- Saw wonderful Prairie Home Companion show.. LIVE. Probably had flecks of spit from Garrison K. on my shirt. We were -that- close. I am going to buy a Ricky Skaggs CD. It's so muscially amazing that it's worth the embarassment to confess I will own a "country" music (well, Bluegrass, to be more specific) CD. It will come home and be stored proudly next to my Front242 and Sisters Of Mercy CDs and hopefully they'll all get along just fine..
- T-Minus 4 days till I depart for Japan. I am actually feeling ready to be done with the breast-feeding thing.. and baby boy is digging his new formula.. so I'm not beating myself up about weaning, or this work trip, anymore. I'm moving on to SHEER TERROR about how unprepared I am for the work to be done at the client site.
And speaking of work to be done.. I need to get back to it...
Saturday, January 08, 2005
A New Year's Promise
OK - I have GOT to figure out how to put photos up.. Because I'm going to Japan on business in February and I've decided that I should take at least one interesting digital picture a day and post it here. If only so that my nearest and dearest can see something that I'm seeing while I'm on the opposite side of the planet.
So, I promise.. I am going to figure out how to do this.. Soon. Very soon.
So, I promise.. I am going to figure out how to do this.. Soon. Very soon.
When "Rocking" is More "Rocking Chair" than "Rock n' Roll"
About, oh, 14 or 15 years ago now I was dating a guy who had the good fortune to be a Tour Manager for bands like Nine Inch Nails and then later Smashing Pumpkins.
So, I have some very excellent memories of dancing on the edge of a giant stage to "Rhinocerous" as the Smashing Pumpkins were the headliner of a three band good size stadium show tour that also included the Red Hot Chili Peppers and opening act Pearl Jam.
I have memories of wonderful meals out with the Pumpkins where I (a poor college student) would chow down and D'Arcy would just have one bite of a dessert we "shared". I remember sitting in shitty little bars at noon time on a week day (when I should have been in college lectures) eating grilled cheese sandwiches with Jimmy the drummer while the band did laundry.
I have memories of the itty bitty dressing room the size of a closet that Eddie Vedder was parked in strumming on a guitar while I was eating snacks with Chad the drummer from the Chilis.
This was the stage in life that I was 'the shit'. Or so I thought. This was the stage in life when I worked for a summer as a radio station intern and wrote for some local magazines reviewing bands that came to town..so I had press passes and backstage passes to just about every act that came through central Ohio.
It was a great time. A wild time. A time that is now totally incongruous with what my life is like as a mommy and a corporate software geek.
I sometimes wonder what the Doc Marten, leather jacket clad version of my 19 year old self would think of me now - my Jones of New York business suits, my minivan strewn with kids books and baby toys dangling from the hand holds..my admission that I own a CD with a Britney Spears song on it.
The last live show I went to was a Christian music artist, Sarah Groves. Hubby's parents bought the tickets for us - and while I wouldn't have ever thought to go see the show on my own - I loved it! She is one talented chick. I promptly went out and bought all her CDs.
The last live show I saw before that was the Lion King on Broadway, during a family trip to Chicago. We paid tons of money for literally the WORST seats in the house, in the last row in the nose bleed section - but I cried tears of joy so hard snot ran down my face as I held one of my daughters on my lap so she could see better and see pointed to the stage with a big grin on her face.
Recently, my dear sweet husband, knowing I love Modest Mouse, actually shamed me into getting tickets to their upcoming show in our town. To be honest, it's the first time (other than Lion King, which doesn't totally fit the same category..) I've paid for tickets to a show..since like high school. This means I was spoiled. For a very long time. And, it's an adjustment for me to see a live show without VIP back stage passes or people that I know sitting at the sound board, or being friends with the band. I think I held off going back to a live show for so long..well, because I knew it wouldn't be the same anymore. It wouldn't be like it used to be. I'd just be a member of the audience - a face in the crowd.. It would make painfully clear to me that I'm really not "cool" anymore - I'm just a nobody.
Though truthfully.. I was never that cool. I was just young, single and fortunate to make the acquaintance of very cool people.
Yep - I am really uncool now. I'm think I was more excited to see my pre-schooler's Christmas singing program than I am to be going to see Modest Mouse.
And, to be honest, I'm much more excited about the front row tickets I lucked into getting (as in paying for - because now that I've broken that taboo by purchasing the Modest Mouse ticks, the floodgates have opened! Live entertainment events here we come!!!) so that my best girl friend from college and I can see a live taping of a Prairie Home Companion.
And, as I explained to my husband when I initially balked at getting the Modest Mouse show tickets -- I'm more happy sitting at home snuggling with the kids or in my rocking chair quilting a bit.
So.. This is what it's like to get old.
I'm not longer hip - I just have hips.
I'm less "rocking out" and more "rocking chair".
It's not so bad I s'pose. So, our live show events might be more "Raffi" than Red Hot Chili Peppers. And, I think that's all good and well.. because I think it would be sad (not to mention highly traumatic to my children) if I was dragging my newborn, clad in baby Doc Martens, the pre-schooler with a mohawk and the 7 year old with dreads and multiple piercings to a Ministry show. That's supposing Ministry was even touring, of course. And supposing that I wasn't already in jail for child abuse for inflicting body piercings on a 2nd grader.
So, I have some very excellent memories of dancing on the edge of a giant stage to "Rhinocerous" as the Smashing Pumpkins were the headliner of a three band good size stadium show tour that also included the Red Hot Chili Peppers and opening act Pearl Jam.
I have memories of wonderful meals out with the Pumpkins where I (a poor college student) would chow down and D'Arcy would just have one bite of a dessert we "shared". I remember sitting in shitty little bars at noon time on a week day (when I should have been in college lectures) eating grilled cheese sandwiches with Jimmy the drummer while the band did laundry.
I have memories of the itty bitty dressing room the size of a closet that Eddie Vedder was parked in strumming on a guitar while I was eating snacks with Chad the drummer from the Chilis.
This was the stage in life that I was 'the shit'. Or so I thought. This was the stage in life when I worked for a summer as a radio station intern and wrote for some local magazines reviewing bands that came to town..so I had press passes and backstage passes to just about every act that came through central Ohio.
It was a great time. A wild time. A time that is now totally incongruous with what my life is like as a mommy and a corporate software geek.
I sometimes wonder what the Doc Marten, leather jacket clad version of my 19 year old self would think of me now - my Jones of New York business suits, my minivan strewn with kids books and baby toys dangling from the hand holds..my admission that I own a CD with a Britney Spears song on it.
The last live show I went to was a Christian music artist, Sarah Groves. Hubby's parents bought the tickets for us - and while I wouldn't have ever thought to go see the show on my own - I loved it! She is one talented chick. I promptly went out and bought all her CDs.
The last live show I saw before that was the Lion King on Broadway, during a family trip to Chicago. We paid tons of money for literally the WORST seats in the house, in the last row in the nose bleed section - but I cried tears of joy so hard snot ran down my face as I held one of my daughters on my lap so she could see better and see pointed to the stage with a big grin on her face.
Recently, my dear sweet husband, knowing I love Modest Mouse, actually shamed me into getting tickets to their upcoming show in our town. To be honest, it's the first time (other than Lion King, which doesn't totally fit the same category..) I've paid for tickets to a show..since like high school. This means I was spoiled. For a very long time. And, it's an adjustment for me to see a live show without VIP back stage passes or people that I know sitting at the sound board, or being friends with the band. I think I held off going back to a live show for so long..well, because I knew it wouldn't be the same anymore. It wouldn't be like it used to be. I'd just be a member of the audience - a face in the crowd.. It would make painfully clear to me that I'm really not "cool" anymore - I'm just a nobody.
Though truthfully.. I was never that cool. I was just young, single and fortunate to make the acquaintance of very cool people.
Yep - I am really uncool now. I'm think I was more excited to see my pre-schooler's Christmas singing program than I am to be going to see Modest Mouse.
And, to be honest, I'm much more excited about the front row tickets I lucked into getting (as in paying for - because now that I've broken that taboo by purchasing the Modest Mouse ticks, the floodgates have opened! Live entertainment events here we come!!!) so that my best girl friend from college and I can see a live taping of a Prairie Home Companion.
And, as I explained to my husband when I initially balked at getting the Modest Mouse show tickets -- I'm more happy sitting at home snuggling with the kids or in my rocking chair quilting a bit.
So.. This is what it's like to get old.
I'm not longer hip - I just have hips.
I'm less "rocking out" and more "rocking chair".
It's not so bad I s'pose. So, our live show events might be more "Raffi" than Red Hot Chili Peppers. And, I think that's all good and well.. because I think it would be sad (not to mention highly traumatic to my children) if I was dragging my newborn, clad in baby Doc Martens, the pre-schooler with a mohawk and the 7 year old with dreads and multiple piercings to a Ministry show. That's supposing Ministry was even touring, of course. And supposing that I wasn't already in jail for child abuse for inflicting body piercings on a 2nd grader.
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