Friday, January 27, 2006

Why I am the queen of Rationalization

1. When counting calories, I often rationalize away Weight Watchers points like this:
- "That cookie was burnt so, it can't have been worth all 3 points" (Does burning food reduce it's caloric content? Maybe!)
- "I just had a bite of fries from the kids' plate..so I don't have to count those because they weren't part of MY dinner."
or
- "That tasted icky, so it couldn't have been 4 points.."

2. When I go shopping for something special for me (e.g. new shoes) and explain the expense to my husband, I frequently "round down" the cost. Example: "Oh these? They were on sale I think.. just like $30." (Actual price: $39.99, more like $40!)

It works in the OPPOSITE direction when hubby wants to get something like a new tool at the hardware store. Witness: "You can't buy that - why waste a hundred fifty bucks on that saw -- don't you already have something similar?" (re: a sawzall tool that would with a price of $119).

See? I round UP if he wants to buy it, round down if I've already spent it and want to make it sound like I didn't spend so much.

3. I believe you can NEED chocolate, a new CD, iced tea, a new pair of brown leather Dansko shoes or book by your favorite author. Sometimes it really IS all about the little things in life.

4. I can even help my FRIENDS come up with rationalizations for their actions/wants/desires/plans to leave hubby home with the kids so we can go off and have fun for a while.

Monday, January 16, 2006

2006 - The Year of Change

I don't really like New Years. I've had some amazingly bad New Years Eve experiences. There were several in a row that were bad. Then they took a dramatic turn for the worse.. starting with the year I totaled my car and found my boyfriend with another woman all in the same night. Then there was the next year when I was kidnapped by a mentally ill woman (who was my friend's date for the night) who somehow convinced me (in a very drunken state) to change clothes in her car as we careened down the road to yet another bar. I finally was reunited with my date at an after-after-hours party in someone's warehouse loft. Sadly - I was never reunited with my clothes.

After years of very bad New Years Eves I moved out of the country and attemtped to break the cycle by not celebrating US-style New Years. I much prefer the Japanese New Year traditions. Start by cleaning the house very thoroughly. Prepare foods in advance. Send out New Years greeting postcards (there's a gov't sponosored lottery on each postal card, too. Lots of people win new TVs, or cash or other prizes. I think I won free stationary and postage once). On New Years Eve go to 3 shrines for "sansha-mawari" and drink warm sweet sake (it's like sweet warm alcoholic rice pudding - yummy!). Go visit friends and friend's families and yell out New Years greetings. Stay up all night to see the "Hatsuhinode" - the first sunrise of the New Years. Snuggle into bed shortly after dawn, wake up to watch traditional holiday TV broadcasts (variety shows) and read through your New Years postcards (all magically delivered on the dawn on New Years Day). You're not supposed to cook or clean or do anything other than lounge around for New Years Day and maybe a day or two after. It's wonderful, restful and contemplative. I came as close as I've ever come to making New Years resolutions while living in Japan.

This year, New Years was fine. It's like it's been since I've been married with children. Quiet and low key. This suits me just fine.

In advance of this New Year beginning I gave some thought to the coming year and realized it was likely to be a year with a lot of change. We're talking about hubby changing jobs, we're considering selling our house and buying a different house, and Lucy will start Kindergarten in the fall of 2006.

I also started FINALLY trying to lose the excess weight I've had since I was pregnant with Lucy (My Dairy Queen baby - because I had a DQ Banana Split almost each and every day I was pregnant with her). I started this on Dec. 31st 2005 -- but of course, this is the year that most of the effort will take place. It's not easy to make these changes to my diet after a long time of eating anything I damn well pleased.

However..the first and most unexpected change has already occurred. Our dear day care mom Shelli is leaving the day care business. In her place we have found a NEW Shelly. Literally. When I had a list of 10 or so people to call, the name Shelly (and her last name is the same as ours!) definitely struck me as a good sign, and so her day care made it to the top of our list of prospective day cares. After interviewing her and meeting her family and her meeting our kids - we're pleased that it seems we've made a good match. Still, it's hard to change from Shelli. She's the only day care mom my kids (other than my stepdaughter, who's older) have ever known. She's had Lucy (aka DQ baby) now for almost 5 years.
I know we'll still see Shelli. She's my friend, too - in addition to being my kids' other mom. She's saved me more times than I can count and always been a good a listener. She and I think alike and I respect her immensely. I'm forever amazed that I've made such a good friend who's not like me in many ways. She loves country music and hadn't traveled much until she hit her mid-thirties. I traveled all over before settling down in my thirties ..and I'll probably never like anything more country-western than Bonnie Raitt or Patsy Cline. She married her high school sweet heart, I dated and dated until I gave up hope that I'd ever marry. We both ended up with sweet husbands. And, none of the differences matter, truly. In the only ways that matter she's an amazing friend. She's my WW buddy, my vision into the future because her kids are older than mine, and she so very wise in all the most important parts of life. Plus, she's the one person I can discuss medical ailments with without her thinking I'm weird. We believe the same things. We think alike on so many topics. I've been really fortunate to have her help raise my small children all these years.

So, here goes. The changes have begun. I feel as if I should just hold on tight and enjoy the ride. I knew 2006 would be all about change. I'm just trying to be hopeful that the end result of all the changes will be a net positive - that I'll look back around this time next year and be pleased with where we've ended up and how everything came together just as it should have.