This morning at the bagel shop I go to daily as I walk up I overhear two very odd conversations.
Employee 1: ..just don't get wearing green if you aren't Irish.
Employee 2:...so wear something that represents where you grew up.
Employee 1: (who is Asian in appearance) ...
Employee 2: (not realizing she's offended) Where DID you grow up?
Employee 1: Andover*
Employee 2: Oh. Well then. (Flustered. Realizes her assumption of Laos or Vietnam was no good.)
(*for those of you who don't know, that's a northern suburb of Minneapolis)
Second conversation is between a homeless, very hippie (as in, child of the 60s, flowing gray beard) looking man I frequently see playing a battered clarinet in the skyway and the manager of the bagel shop who's standing at his cash register.
Manager: ..yeah you'll have to talk to the owner about that.
Hippie dude: I'll go talk to the MAN. Yeah. Yeah. And then...when I find the MAN I'll find the woman who's got him by the balls. Ain't that right!
Manager: ..um, ha ha.. (unsure how to respond)
Hippie dude: (walking away) ...cause that's how it is. Behind the MAN is always the woman who's got 'im by the balls.
Manager rings up the customer in front of me. I step forward to pay, but the homeless guy is back again.
Hippie dude: Hey, look, before I go talk to the MAN - tell me, would it bother you if I played here? 'Cause I'm not gonna bother even go to the MAN if it would bother you.
Manager: Yeah, it would bother me. It's too small here - we don't have space for you to play.
Hippie dude: So - how about I get you a tape?
Manager: No, that's OK.
Hippie dude: .. cause I could get you a tape.
Manager points at the ceiling where Kelly Clarkson's music is blaring out of a speaker.
Manager: No, really, we're all set.
Hippie dude: My stuff is better than this crap (pointing to the speakers)
Meanwhile, I'm just patiently waiting holding my money out towards the manager at the register while he tries to get the hippie dude to move along again.
Manager: (getting frustrated) Look, I'm trying to work here.
H.D.: Yeah, I know you're trying to work..
Manager: (speaking to me) What do you have today?
Me: Bagel and cream cheese, please (I hand him money)
H.D.: You know Mike, you don't got to be that way.
Manager: (sighs) You need to go now. (then turns and hands me my change as the hippie walks off).
Me: I'll bet today is one of those days you wish you didn't have to wear a name tag, huh?
Manager: (Laughs and smiles) Yeah!
I step back and wait for my bagel and homeless hippie guy walks up next to me.
H.D.: You know, that guy there - he should worry you. He worries me and he should worry you.
Me: Him? He's a good guy. I buy bagels from him everyday - he's a good guy.
H.D.: No - no - he oughta worry you! (looking a bit frantic about getting his message across)
Me: Oh? Really. OK.
Meanwhile all the bagel shop employees are watching this guy talking to me and trying to figure out how to intervene and get him to leave their customers alone. It was interesting to see the looks pass across their faces, some of them shaking their heads.
It didn't worry me - because like I said, I've seen this guy before - probably even tossed him some change before and he's one of the homeless guys that don't scare me. He plays his music and wishes you well and shouts out vaguely poetic things.
The big group of really drunk homeless guys that hang out closer to my parking garage in the skyway.. well, they kind of scare me. They're all much bigger than me - almost all younger men, often falling down drunk, fighting with each other and occasionally throwing up. Even at 7am in the morning, which is really mysterious to me. Like how could you be THAT messed up so close to the time that the shelter turns you out for the day? This morning there was a group of them blocking both doors between the Hilton Skyway and the International Center skyway. I actually saw two other women turn back rather than attempt to go through the doors. I did a quick head count, it was a group of 6 guys standing on one side and 5 on the other. I took the side where there were fewer guys standing and followed in the wake of another person trying to cross through their group. No problem at all.
Oh the ides of March - I hope today passes without further incident.
1 comment:
Hi Geeky Mama! Thanks SO much for delurking over at Little Woolgatherings - I hope to have you back often :-)
I enjoyed this post - reminds me A LOT of going to downtown Ithaca. You never know what kind of a Hippie Dude you might run into down there. You handled it very well, by the way. And re: the daycare article - what a slimy way to make mothers feel guilty. I've been on both sides, and you just can't win. I worked in a daycare for numerous years during highschool and early college - I loved it! I think about those kids a lot, even 10 years later :-)
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