Stop The Hate

So, this post is partially about how strongly I agree with the efforts of this web "clique": http://openmind.clemish.com/about.php

..and partially about how I cannot get over how hateful people are these days!

Seriously folks, it's getting so that I want to just stay in my house and not go out.

While I was in Chicago with Holly we went for lunch at a Thai place in sort of a strip mall location. As Holly was pulling into the parking spot (a right turn) the car behind her, impatient to pass her, pulled in between Holly and the parking spot! Yes, passed ON THE RIGHT, in a narrow parking lot lane AS WE WERE TURNING RIGHT.

I have NO idea how this chick didn't hit Holly's VW with her stupid SUV. Had she hit us, it would have been ME that she creamed. (And she was driving WAY too fast for a parking lot.) Both Holly and I had a mini heart attack and then thought REALLY hard about walking the oh, ten parking spaces up where she parked in front of the "Get Fake Nails" salon and letting all the air out of her tires.

What, she couldn't wait 15-30 seconds for Holly to finish pulling into the parking spot? Those 30 seconds would make her too late for her hour of pamepering at the nail place?

Last night again I had a moment where there was another near miss by another idiot - and what's more he followed that up by yelling at me!

I had just picked up my new glasses and was on the cell phone getting everyone's McDonald's order (on my way home). A guy on a motorcycle (and I have a LONG BAD history with people on motorcycles) didn't look and started to pull into my lane. Seriously, he never bothered to look and I was RIGHT NEXT TO HIM.

My car is bright green (see picture below) and my chrome wheels are hard to miss. Yet, he was pulling directly into my passenger side. Not in front of me but BESIDE me. So, I veer as far as I can (without hitting concrete) to the left and honk to let him know he's about to hit me (because he's still not looking!).

Thereby the grace of God (or Bhuddha, Goddess or your-higher-power-of-choice) he realized he was about to wreck into me and got back in his (right) lane.

When he could, he got right behind me and rode my ass. Even better, at the next traffic light he pulled his bike up so his front tire was touching my rear bumper and revved his engine until he got my attention. Then he started YELLING at me.

"It's 40 MPH back there!!!" (Well, duh. I know that. I wasn't going but maybe 43 MPH)

I'm still on the phone with Jeff and I am SHAKING. I roll down the window and say: "I am going to call the police!" (That's his warning)

Then he yells something else (laced with obscenities)

Then I say: "You should LOOK before you change lanes. You are unsafe!"

Yes, the strongest word I used in his direction was: "Unsafe". I didn't flip him off, I didn't call him names - I just sat in my minivan and literally SHOOK with fear and anger.

He turned off on the next possible street (perhaps he thought I actually HAD called the police - though I was still on the phone with Hubby).

Now, here's where it gets even weirder.

There was ANOTHER car. A car that never saw the near-miss with the motorcycle, they got off the highway further up the road from there. It was filled with Uptown types. (In the Twin Cities that would explain that these are hip young people with many piercings, dramatically dyed and cut hair and possibly tattoos.) They were young, hip and in a REALLLLLLY crappy beat up Lumina. They had a guitar case, a dog and attitude to spare.

The girl in the backseat catches my eye because although she's two car lengths ahead of my minivan at the traffic light, in the right lane (I'm still in the same left lane) she is HANGING out the rear window of the car and yelling at me and flipping me off.

She doesn't know me or the motorcyclist and hasn't seen the near accident... she is just yelling:

"F$%&ing HANG UP AND DRIVE BEE-YOTCH!!!" (but not in the Disney-edited version I've typed here).

She is gesturing wildly and frequently and flipping me off.

She's not talking to the car next to her or behind her -- we're talking 2 cars behind and in a different lane. I literally stare at her gape mouthed. It probably takes me a full minute to process that SHE is talking to ME. I'm thinking: "WTF?!"

At this point I feel totally cornered. I review highlight reels in my head and torture myself.. Did I drive too fast? Too slow? I KNOW I haven't left my lane or wobbled, I'm stopped at a traffic light and haven't invaded anyones' lane at any point BEFORE the light...

I finally surmize that no - she just hates me for no (apparent) reason (at least to me).

Dudes, please, STOP THE HATE.

Just because I am a dorky mom type, drive a minivan and wear glasses and am old does not make me a bad person.

I used to look as hip as you. Really. I used to be backstage at Lollapalooza and I had lunch with Ice-T and Henry Rollins. I made brownies (not that kind!) for the Smashing Pumpkins. I used to be "Bohemian Like You" (Dandy Warhol's reference).

I embrace diversity. I believe you are born the way you are - gay, straight or whatever. I try hard not to judge and I think of it this way:

Everyone is at a different stage and place in life. No one is more or less important than anyone else. Just because you're a teenager makes your voice no less valuable than a CEO. Hell, you may BE a future CEO. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you wouldn't make a fine parent - maybe an even better parent than me.
Just because I'm old and fluffy doesn't mean I don't want to rage against corporate American just the same as you... I've just realized that it provides a mighty fine health plan and paycheck.

Apparently this sort of tolerance is too much to ask for someone like me: plain-white-bread, 30-something Mommy. But damnit, it's not fair.

Holly and I talked about this a bit last weekend. Our current theory is that people feel anonymous. It's not like when we grew up and all the neighbors knew our names and would feel free to go to our parents if they saw us doing something stupid.

It's like in this age of microwave meals, Instant Messaging and High-speed Internet access that people feel less personal responsibility in their dealings with others in "real life". Like, they can flip me off and cut me off and then not worry - because they figure they'll never see me again in their neighborhood. Or when they're interviewing for a job. Or when they go to get gas in their motorcycle at the gas station on University Avenue. Oh, but they are so wrong.

But.. if I want to practice what I preach.. I'd better be nice to them anyhow.