I've recently discovered, by way of this blog: http://thirdculturekid.blogs.com/third_culture_kids/
And this site: http://www.thirdculturekid.com/... and many others like it.. that there is actually a NAME for the feeling I've had since spending part of my teen years in Japan, and then living in Japan for years after college.
That neverending homesick feeling for a place that really isn't "home". Missing all things Japanese, the language, the music, the culture the tolerance of others and respect for the seasons..wanting to go back and live there.
And then, when I'm there for extended periods I know I'll feel the same way about the States. Missing drive thrus, drive in's (the few that are left), wide open spaces not crowded by people... and free refills of massive glasses of iced tea in restaurants. Missing family and friends. Missing the anonymity that not being a minority brings. Being able to move about my day without ever wondering if the way I'm being treated is because I don't look like everyone else. Sabetsu. It actually bothered me where I used to live in Japan.
There is a job lead that would bring us to Japan. Not permanently, mind you, just for a few years. The whole family. Hubby understands what this means to me and is adventurous enough to give it a go - if the conditions are right.
However, a thought that has often crossed my mind is this: Would I be causing the same Third Culture result in my own children by raising them for part of their childhood in a (very different) culture?
I've had a post brewing on this on my head for a few weeks now. I'm not ready to put it all down in words just yet.
I want my kids to grow up outside the US at some point. I want them to learn a second language. Of course, because I have such an affinity for all things Japanese, I'd love for them to share this other culture and language with me, too.
I want them to experience life with a global perspective. I want these things for them - but wonder if the drawbacks are greater than I can even imagine at this time. The transition - new home, new school, new friends...it's a BIG move.
Missing family and friends. The language barrier until they become more conversant in Japanese.
It's not about Japan versus the US for a place to raise kids. I feel somewhat aware of the pros and cons on each... It's about the personal decision to make a big change to my kids' childhood. One that I can't take back. One that I might regret. Or, regret if I don't take the risk jointly with hubby to have them experience.
I've got some heavy duty thinking to do here before I proceed...
1 comment:
Glad to know I helped you give the feelings a name! :)
Seriously, though, I really know just what you're feeling. I'm the same way about my daughter - do I take her to Japan (where both my husband and I would rather be, although at our ages, it would have to be for the long haul), or let her find her place here? My own feeling (right now, at least) is that that's kind of where the world is heading, and that the people who are going to be the most comfortable with all the changes ahead are the people who know that home isn't necessarily one place, and that their identities don't have to be locked into one pattern.
But it could just be rationalization... ;)
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