Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Thank You Holly




If it were not for Holly's mad picture taking skills our kids' childhood would be rushing past almost entirely undocumented. Check out Michael's freckles. Too cute!

Beautiful Pictures from Holly


Life is Beautiful / Life is What You Make It

Saturday I made a trip to my favorite Asian grocery in Minneapolis. Only my youngest, Mr. Man, was interested in joining me for a shopping outing.
We had a good trip, he loved his treat: Peach Calpis (which, I have to say, is really an unfortunate brand name. Sure, カルピス is fine in Japanese, but in America, it sounds to my ear ever so close to "cow piss", y'know?).

In any case, recently Mr. Man has been in love with the Shimajiro Potty training - because he's just recently switched to being a "pa-pa-pantsu man!" himself.. And especially while we were at the Asian grocery and he was hearing different languages - for whatever reason he got very interested in Japanese for a change. (Side note: I am not raising bilingual children. They are uninterested, for the most part, in learning Japanese. Believe me I've tried.) At first, though I was REALLY confused.

Mr Man: "Mama, mama. Talk 'sheen to me."
Me: Machine? huh?
MM: Yeah. Talk a-ma-sheen to me.
Me: Like Motors? Bruum Bruum?
MM: (Getting upset) NO!! Ma-sheen!! You know..like using the potty...
Me: Machine?? Like computer?
MM: Yeah.. like on the computer! SHAKA!! SHAKA ganuzu!!!
Me: Huh?
MM: SHAKA GA NUNU!
Me: Oh, wait! You mean: Talk Japanese to you?
MM: (Relieved that his idiot mother is finally making sense) YES!
Me: Oh, like Shimajiro: お仲がむずむずする? Onaka ga muzu muzu suru?
MM: YAH! SHAKA!!!!Shaka ga nu nu.
Me: uh huh. よく出来たね。Yoku dekita!
MM: Shaka! Shaka!
Me: (laughing) Chaka Khan! Chaka Khan!
----
He didn't get my Chaka Khan reference at all, of course.

After this interlude of talking Japanese / 80s music to each other (and Michael likes it, to a point, then tells me to "talk like his mommy" instead) we stopped for lunch. There's a Culvers near us that has a group of folks (The Culvers Jammers) that meets and plays Blue Grass each Saturday afternoon. It's wonderful to sit and hear the mandolin, banjo, fiddles and bass (and some assorted zither players..but maybe that's called the auto-harp?). It feels like a sweet little slice of small-town America and the walleye sandwich isn't bad either. Michael swings his legs on his too-big-for-him chair and picks at his cheeseburger, I sigh as they fall into the chorus. And then it hits me: I truly have the best of all possible worlds.

I have the city - because I work downtown and we can basically have our pick of any kind of fine dining or cultural outing we desire. (And the Twin Cities does seem to be a hot-bed for theatre and has a lively music scene..)

I have the country - because we live on 2.5 acres where it isn't unusual to see people ride by on their horses or hear the occasional whine of a dirt bike or ATV...or hear nothing but the wind in the trees. And at the neighborhood "National Night Out" talk was more on coyote sightings and keeping deer out of our gardens then on break-ins or vandalism. We can grow flowers and plants, burn stuff in our fire pit.. and the kids ride around on the John Deere tractor and in the '73 Chevy pickup and call themselves "Country Girls" without a trace of irony. (Well, not Mr. Man. He just rides his bike around and around making dirt bike noises and announces that he's riding his motor bike.)

I still have tinges of my Japanese life. We take our shoes off and store them in the genkan. (Even if the kids don't know what a genkan is..) My rice cooker is used plenty frequently and we eat 焼肉 complete with real 焼き肉のたれ at least once or twice a week. We have a deep tub and family style お風呂 complete with Japanese bath salts. (Note to those who don't know about Japanese ofuro: In a Japanese bath an extra-deep tub is filled to the top with very hot water in which you sit submerged up to the neck. Most people spend about half an hour in the bath every night. Most children take their baths with their father or mother until they are in the upper grades of elementary school. The family tub is an important place for parent-child communication.) My kids know a smattering of Japanese words and want to eat with chopsticks. They like rice. And Miyazaki movies such as: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi (千と千尋の神隠し).

And, I still have the comfort of all that is familiar, too. My favorite tea, incense and all the books I could hope to read. Clothes that fit, and that are cheap, too!

Everything that was a bit difficult about life in Japan is something that is easier here in the States. I don't stick out like a sore thumb, I blend in. I'm free to mix and match from cultures and holidays and beliefs and perspectives - and my kids are all the richer for the diversity. And, when I want my kids to have an experience like I did as a child (riding bikes on their own around the neighborhood, Sunday School, Christmas Caroling, Girl Scouts) - we've ended up being fortunate there, too.

For all the angst and worry I had when I was younger trying to figure out where to make a life - what I forgot is that life would be what I (we) make it. (Sheesh. Now I'm quoting Talk Talk : "Life's What you Make it.") It's amazing that it's ended up being exactly what I would have wanted. Little by little, bit by bit. As if I'd drawn up a wish list and one by one every wish has been granted. Even ones that might not have occurred to me in all my infinite wisdom in my 20s. And still. Life has turned out so much better than I could have planned on my own.

Monday, September 17, 2007

I'd gladly re-live this weekend over again

I didn't manage to take any photos of it to remember - in fact, I've been pretty lousy about taking pictures lately. Poor Mr. Man is growing up so fast and his childhood is largely undocumented in pictures of any kind. However, if in the future they invent a time machine and I need a specific date to go back to: I'd gladly re-live this weekend over again.

The weather was stunningly beautiful. The deepest blue cloudless sky with cool nights and warm enough days. Our kids were all mostly happy, healthy and wanted us around to play with them. They had friends over for playdates and sleep overs this weekend. I baked cookies, washed windows, and hung out our freshly washed bed linens in the crisp sunny fall air in between dispensing hugs, meals and snacks whenever the kids wanted them. Hubby spent the weekend mainly outdoors - and mainly on projects around the house including a new swingset and three new swings hanging from two trees in the backyard. The kids love them.

Nothing too exciting happened but that's what makes it so perfect. Just lots of time at home to hang out with our kids and their friends. I'd gladly re-live this weekend over again.

I know that when our kids are older and I have tons of free time to read, quilt or keep a perfectly clean house I'll miss these days of having a full house and toys strewn all over. I know that when my youngest stops needing me to tuck him in for a nap or first thing when he wakes up to reassure him, I'll miss those sleepy hugs. I know that later this fall or winter when we're all laid low with a cold or flu or some bleak weekend in February or March when we're trapped inside staring at the cold, gray, blah weather - I just know how I'll miss these perfect early fall days.

Last night as I tucked Michael into bed he was trying to stall a bit. He grabbed my hand in the dark and said: "Mommy? About today. Today I had a very great fun day." And I knew it was true. And I said: "That's right. You got to play on your new swingset, swing on the new swings, played with those big girls, (he broke in here and said: "I played with them with my noisy dump truck!"), watched 'Michael, Michael Motorcycle', rode on the lawn tractor with daddy, went for a bike ride in the bike trailer and rode your "dirt bike" (his bicycle, that he makes dirt bike sounds for when he rides it)." And he sighed contentedly and rolled over cozy in his bed.

I'd gladly re-live this weekend over again.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

To my children who I love beyond measure, from your mommy at work.

I wrote this yesterday, Sept 11th, feeling nostalgic and missing my children at work apparently.

Dear Mr. Man,

You crack me up no end. You are such a funny, smart, beautiful little boy. I love it when you look at me with your earnest eyes and say: "I have pee in my body."
We are SO proud of your new found independence in using the potty and dressing and undressing yourself.
Yes, I know you want a dirt bike. Little boy, light of my life, I am very tempted to buy you one because I love the look on your face when you work the throttle and see dirt flying up in the air behind you. Your love of rockets and dirt bikes is giving me a clue to the kind of boy you're going to be. It's not going to be dull!
I love it when you take your little hands and put them on my face to turn my face towards you when you want my full attention. It is an amazing time right now when you tell me sometimes still that you are a "tiny baby" and then, more and more you tell me and show me you are a "big boy" everyday. I'm so glad you still want to be held and carried and snuggled.
I am so sorry this morning that you only wanted me to hold you and stay home all day with you. I hope my holding you and rocking you in my arms helped ease your tears. I saw your brave face when I left you with your pre-school teacher and I hope that today is fun for you, even if it's spent with your friends and teacher and not mommy and daddy. Thank you for the big kiss this morning, I miss you terribly and wish I was home with you all day, too.

Dear Lucy Goose,

You are such a sensitive, silly, beautiful girl - thank you for making me laugh. I'm so sorry I rushed you this morning and I know I must seem crabby to you when all I'm trying to do is get us scooted out the door. Hard as it may be to believe - I think of you and miss you all day, even if it seems like I'm just crabby and rushing and busy when I get you up in the morning.
I really tried my best to tie your Chucks as tight as you like, I'm sorry if it didn't meet your high standards of tight. I know Daddy does it better - he wishes he was here, too. Please understand that I spent extra time making you breakfast this morning, and that's why I couldn't keep re-tying your shoes three more times - we were already running late.
Can I tell you how amazed I am that you love Depeche Mode? What good taste you are developing in music! When you listed off your favorite bands (AJ & Aly, Hannah Montanna, Depeche Mode and Jonas Brothers) I was awed that at 6 (6!) you have such definite (and good) tastes in music.
Sweetheart, I'm sorry your ankles hurt. Yes, I'm sure part of it is from running so much in gym class, and maybe some growing pains, too...but, it may also be my fault. See, I have bad ankles, too. You can blame Grandpa Bob for this one if you like. (I got my ankles from him.) Please don't be too sad about your ankles. It's nothing Advil can't fix, and as you get older you'll realize it's really not such a big deal in the big scheme of things. I know that's hard to understand now, because any hurt is a big hurt.
I love you, be brave. You'll make friends at your new school - you'll see. Just keep being Lucy. Hang in there - you can watch Harry Potter and eat Starbursts when you get home, and then it'll all feel better. Just think: each day you're getting closer to being able to read all on your own - and just you wait, that will make you SO happy when you can sit with a Harry Potter or Phillip Pullman book and read and read to your heart's content.

Dear Emma-roo,

I know now that you're getting so grown up that it's too embarassing to have me say "I love you" in front of your friends or to hug on you at school, so I hold back when they are around. But you should know no matter what I always love you SO much.
Thank you for the BIG hugs last night. I may joke or play (and you do, too) but I felt your "I love you" in those hugs, and I hope you know how much I adore you when I peck you on your cute short hair and hug you tight.
Lucy and I are both missing you (yes, even Lucy. She wanted you to come home with us last night) - but your mom has been missing you terribly, too - so be good to her. I know you wanted to come to our house last night, but it's your mom's turn to love on you, so be sure to be good and don't keep pestering her to come over - I know you know why, if you think about it.
Did you know that Melissa, the little girl who came to visit the weekend before last, hasn't taken off the necklace you gave her in days? Em, you have the most giving, kind and generous heart of any person I know. You made her very happy - and you make us very proud.
I know school is getting a little harder this year - but I'm glad your teacher is so nice. Even so, as you get closer to middle school don't be surprised if life gets a little more complicated with each passing month. I'm sure you've noticed by now that life gets kind of funky when you get closer to being a teen. Pimples, bras, friends that don't act very friendly... nothing you can't handle, though. You'll do well - you've got some amazing advantages.
Girl, you are SO smart. And SO loved. Whenever you need a break, some help or just a shoulder to cry on we'll always be there to catch you, hug you, hold you and comfort you. You're surrounded by people who adore you. You can do whatever you want to do - and I can tell you're going to do it in fine sassy style (You are such a stylish girl now! I am SO impressed with your taste in shoes and clothes!) and surrounded by friends, because you are gifted at making friends.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Michael, Michael Motorcyle!

Observations / Lessons Learned from the end of summer

1. Doggie day care for 2 two dogs costs more than all-day care for my 3 children. What is wrong with this picture?

2. Given enough time, most people will really come through with the money they owe you. I prefer not to say anything about the money - I just wait without saying anything. So far, this is working for me. (I just got paid, yesterday, for Girl Scout cookies that were delivered in February of this year.)
*The possible exception to this rule are places of business (e.g. paid off car loans, mortgage escrow account checks) - because they will take their own sweet time returning money you've overpaid them to you.

3. As for me, I really need to drive a stick shift. It appears to be something in my genetic makeup because my Dad strongly prefers manual transmissions, too.

4. You can't fight genetics - but through ample amounts of counseling you can try to make your character flaws less obnoxious to others.

5. There are two things that I find unforgivably tacky :
a. Not sending a Thank You note or acknowledgement of receipt of a Wedding gift.
b. A guest that bring a gift of wine to a dinner party - opens said wine, has some and then takes it home with them.

All other manners and rules appear to be made to be broken, in my humble opinion..but the 2 above are pet peeves.

6. I love books by Phillip Pullman. And here I was worried that I'd having nothing to read after Harry Potter.. The "His Dark Materials" triology is even better! (Though it feels like blasphemy for me to say that out loud because I loved the HP series so much.)