The Christmas Letter I Didn't Mail

I started writing a Christmas letter this year for the first time. The brag-fest known as "Christmas Letters" have always been uncool in my humble opinion. It was on the short list of things that I thought I'd never do. Like driving a minivan, selling out and working for the MAN, and becoming my mother. And obviously, since all those other three things have come to pass (have I told you how much I love our new minivan?) and there are no signs of Armageddon that I have noticed lately, I figured why not give in and send the letter.

Actually, the more realistic reason for the Christmas letter is because I've finally reached that stage in life where my children, their activities and our family obligations have usurped enough time that I'm not getting to see dear friends as often as I'd like.. and also because I have far-flung friends and family that I get to see maybe only once a year, if at all.

Also, this was an eventful year. I had major illness (HG), a baby, 2 surgeries, and a serious car-accident. Hubby was threatened by a rogue cab driver in Amsterdam. We also traveled (with a 5 week old baby) to Germany, and then in October attended my Grandma's 80th birthday party (which doubled as a family reunion) and my genius cousin's wedding. Although no one wants to see pictures of my gallstones, I figured gratuitous baby pictures and before and after pictures of our car that got totaled in the car accident would be nice to spice up the letter.

But then I ran out of time. Between the Pre-School Christmas party, end-of-year financials at work, Christmas cookies, wrapping all the presents (that's my job -- I could let hubby do it, but I'm a control freak) and organizing the holiday potluck for our group at work (AGAIN with the control-freakishness) ..I think I'm lucky I got the cards out at all. I had a couple of late-night sessions with me sticking on the labels and rapidly signing the cards (No handwritten personal messages, just our names. I suck.)..after the kids were all in bed. After three days in a row of this I wasn't even safe to drive I was so overtired. 'Cause I still had to get up for work at 5am each morning, irregardless of how late I'd been up trying to finish up the cards the night before.

So, consider this post the Christmas Letter I meant to send. We had a busy year. Good outweighed the bad, and we certainly have nothing to brag about except the healthy arrival of our third and final child and the continued survival of our other two. Our little family is overjoyed and we've had a wonderful end to 2004. It ended much better than it started.. and I have hope that 2005 will only just get better.

In fact, the best thing to sum up 2004 is this: I have hope.
I have hope that our children will grow..remain healthy and thrive. That hubby and I will work on getting in better shape and losing our baby weight. I have hope that I will stay employed, and even have a neat opportunity to travel back to Japan in Q1.
I have hope that 2005 will find us NOT visiting the hospital so frequently. I have hope that no one in our little family will require surgery or anything more than well-child visits or antibiotics for ear infections.
I have hope that nothing bad will happen to our new vehicles and that we won't need the cars to visit a body shop. I have hope that we'll actually get out on the boat a bit more next summer than we did this past summer. I have hope that I will finally finish the baby's quilt just in time for his first birthday. I have hope that 2005 will be one of those years that we look back on some time in the distant future and say: "Man, I'd go back to 2005 anytime. That was a good year."

I hope the same for you, too.

We are so going to hell - part 2

So, for the wonderful mom who drives my daughter from her day care to her Christian pre-school 2 days each week while I'm at work, I made a special trip to the local Christian book store to find a particular book I thought she'd enjoy. I found the book I planned on giving her plus a couple more and almost choked when the grand total at the register was like 2X as much as I expected.

I came home and hubby and I had a (blasphemous!) conversation that just confirmed our one-way tickets to Hades:

Me: "Man, that place is a rip!"

Hubby: "Yeah, they think just 'cause you're buying Jesus-stuff they can screw you!!"


Then we both cackled, y'know, like evil heathen types do.

We are so going to hell

Hubby listens to NPR all day..and heard this woman speak. He sent me this link:

http://www.psr.edu/page.cfm?l=91&id=106

..because he thought it would interest me.

It was heavy duty reading, but I can condense it for you:

1) Our gay family & friends and their partners are OK in the eyes of God (this I think I knew already, BTW)

2) Hubby and I are so going to hell.

...And this would be just because we got married after his Ex divorced him (re-marriage for him, marriage to a divorced person for me). The only thing that gives me hope that we aren't off to purgatory is that she (his Ex) cheated.. But then only one out of the three passages of scripture give us a chance at being legitimately married because his Ex cheated. So, 2 out of 3 Bible passages tell me to prepare for eternal damnation.

Hmm. Maybe I should stop teaching Sunday school then, eh?

Can I please have the guacamole-ranch dressing with my foot?

Flashback to Mother's Day 2001. We had flown with our 3 week old baby to show her off to the Ohio grandparents. On our way between houses (being a child of divorce means 4 grandparents on mommy's side of the family) I stopped at a store to buy my mother a hanging basket of flowers for her patio as a Mother's Day gift. Hubby and the baby stayed in the rental car as I ran in quickly. As I carried the hanging planter to the counter the cashier said: "Oh no, let me carry that for you." Then, as I pulled out my wallet to pay she said: "So, when are you due?" After a long pause (can you just hear the crickets in the background?) I said: "The baby is in the car parked out front." To her credit, she blushed and mumbled an apology of some sort.
I blamed myself for wearing an old maternity t-shirt. Plus I'm sure I looked pregnant still. Heck, the baby was only a month old. Still, my feelings were bruised a bit. I remember griping to my husband that it's just never safe for someone to ask that question unless it's ABSOLUTELY obvious someone is with child.
How quickly we forget.
So, hubby is out of town on business this week. This means that some nights instead of cooking at home we go out to eat. Sometimes it's easier to be at home, but usually the littlest one (4 mo. old) is so cooperative and the big ones are so entertained at the kid-friendly places we dine, that eating out is the path of least resistance. Lately the 3.5 yr. old is in love with a chain restaurant featuring a large red pepper as it's logo. I like a salad they have there, she loves the "slushie" style drinks, cinnamon apples and that they give her a whole big cup full of crayons and a balloon.
As we plopped into our booth the waitress came by to take our order. As I turned to look at her my eyes were level with her mid-section. And what should pop out of my mouth but: "Are you expecting?" Open mouth, insert foot. Of course, she said: "Um, no, my little one is already here." I apologized and then tipped her BIG. Really big. I thought about writing a little note on the receipt apologizing for being a doofus and blaming my complete and utter lack of sleep lately on my lapse.. but decided that I'd just slink out and leave lots of cash in apology. So, she probably thinks: "What a rude woman. Good tipper, but a rude woman!"