Thou Shall Not Brake-Check

Let me set the scene for you.
It's a chilly fall morning and I have my mojo working. My daughter gets dropped off at school with nary a sniffle or even a "Mommy, one more hug please.." (this is a BIG deal - she has JUST started being happy at drop off just this week, and its a BIG improvement over her tearful drop offs up till now).

I'm wearing my new fave jeans and trusty kimono wrap sweater to work and favorite courdory fall jacket. I'm not late for work - and I'm looking forward to sipping my iced tea and nibbling my oatmeal bites as I drive the van downtown.

I flick on the heated seats, crank up the stereo and get to enjoy my favorite song of all time by the Rave-ups - newly burned onto CD for me from the LP. I sip my iced tea, nod my head to Jimmer Podransky and cruise through the Bunker Hills Park. The fall leaves are stunning, the sun is coming up and it's a BEAUTIFUL day.

My commute is going smooth as silk, my tunes have me in such a good mood I'm thinking to myself: "I should pick up the cell phone and tell Hubby I haven't been this happy since our OB/GYN offered to induce Mr. Man's birth 4 weeks early.."

And then this ass-hat in a White Subaru (it wasn't an anniversary edition, no offense Duf) decides he wants to be in the lane I'm in, starts to pull into the side of my van and I honk and brake. I let him in ('cause it's either that or get the van repainted - AGAIN) and then.. get this - he BRAKE CHECKS ME. He's pissed that I honked (to let him know he's about to hit me!) and he STANDS on his brakes about 1000 feet short of the red light (and next vehicle) ahead. So, of course, to avoid an accident (lanes on either side of us are occupied) I have to lock up my brakes, too. AND still I nearly skid into him. Damnable Subaru brakes must be better than my brand new Nissan brakes.

EVERYTHING in my van dumps. My tea, my backpack, my kids toys in the back, my oatmeal bites. It's all over the front of the floor up right up under the gas pedal.

So I called 911 and reported the #$%*er.

Dear Mr. Subaru driver,

Yes. I saw that you rolled your window down and tried to drive even with me when the traffic in the left lane I was in (after I got the heck away from you) sped by your car.
Yes, I noticed you tried to get my attention - but I didn't look at you or slow down to hear whatever you had to say because I was busy REPEATING YOUR PLATE NUMBER to the nice officer that called me back. Yes, I noticed you brake checked that other guy, too. Hopefully he called 911 also. Apparently you have a Road Rage problem.

I hope when the next time you get pulled over for speeding or DUI or whatever other driving infraction that the officer looks at the computer and sees the calls from other motorists reporting your behavior. Or, better yet, that the Coon Rapids and/or Fridley Police dept. had time this morning to pull you over and admonish you for aggressive driving.

I hope you know you ruined my otherwise idyllic morning commute - and I hope you know that karma is a bee-yotch and so please don't be surprised when you have that flat tire tonight.

As for me, I just cranked up the Rave-ups and took some deep breaths.
Life's too short - and my commute is too damn long.