Lesson du jour

Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


I'm so type A. I'm a natural-born, world-class champion worry-wart.
I project so far ahead that, no joke, Jeff can recount times where I've taken some of our children's (probably normal) childhood misbehaviors and extrapolated that into how they'd never get through college and be degenerates, un-wed junkie parents, [insert your own worst fears about failing as a parent here], etc..

I'm mellowing a bit with age and experience, thankfully.

Some of these skills that I pick up as a mom translate back to work..and vice versa. Today I got reminded once again not to trip myself up looking so far ahead.

I've been struggling for weeks to complete a strategy project. I NEVER do strategy - it's not my job. I'm garden variety geek, thankyouverymuch. Ask me to debug a mis-encoded character stream. Tell me to find the failed cursor in a referenced library or package - I'm never happier than when I can figure out what the problem is.

But this. This was "suggest an approach the entire organization should follow" strategic mumbo-jumbo. I felt confused. Wondered if I had early Alzheimer's or maybe needed to go get a cup of coffee or three. I read and re-read ..and then re-read emails and thought I couldn't figure out what I was being asked to do.

Finally, I buckled down and typed that mutha OUT today.

My hand shook as I hit the "send" button to the team. I self-doubted, I whined a bit (just inside my head) and finally just closed my eyes and hit send.

Within an hour I got back a GLOWING email - complete with a thank you. Here's a comment from it that made me snort outloud: "You are a natural at process!"

I should kick my own behind for spending over a month dreading this and torturing myself. I shouldn't have worried so much. It's almost always not as bad as I think it will be.

A note from my sister ..

(Click on Photo Above to see a larger version)
Message from my sister, K follows:

"Well, you would think someone who does fundraising for living would have no concern about sending out a message like this - but it feels a bit different when you are making a personal request. So, here it goes...

My roommate and one of my very best friends from college, had a beautiful baby boy last October, named Alex. However, on his second day of life he experienced his first seizure, and things only got worse. On a good day, Alex would have seizures every 15 minutes. On a bad day, he would seize for 8-10 hours.

After many months, many doctors, needles pricks, medications and tests, Alex was diagnosed with a very rare brain tumor called a Hypothalamus Hematoma. Fortunately, there is one doctor in all the country that could perform the life-saving surgery he needed, and at the beginning of July, Jenny, her husband Greg and baby Alex jumped a plane for Arizona, and there Alex had two brain surgeries.

This surgery was truly a miracle (and I thank all of you who prayed for him!), and I'm so happy to say that as of today, Alex has not yet had a seizure! However, this story is not over. Baby Alex is still on a great deal of medications, and will need extensive therapy. Alex had a stroke during the first brain surgery and unlike most 10 month old babies, Alex does not sit-up on his own or even roll-over. Though, with a lot of hard work, Alex has a very promising future.

It doesn't take a lot to figure out emotionally what this does to a family, but what a lot us don't know is what it does FINANCIALLY. Jenny and Greg were a two-income family, which over the past year has been primarily one. Not to mention the FLOOD of bills from his nearly continuous hospital stays since birth, brain surgeries, medications, therapy, etc..

My roommates from college & me, are organizing a benefit (in Cincinnati, Ohio) for Baby Alex in hopes to help lessen pain of this experience, at least financially.

If you can, please attend. If you would like to make a donation checks should be made out to "The Alex Keener Fund", you can send it to the address listed on the flyer, or contact me and I'll send you an address. If you're in Ohio - you can donate directly to the Alex Keener Fund at any FifthThird bank location."

Thank You

The Boys of Summer

I keep trying to remind myself (despite the stress of being down to a single income) that this is the summer that our kids are likely to remember as one of the best.

They're getting to sleep in almost every day. Daddy is home with them most days and on days when they don't stay home they get to go ride in a canoe, go to the beach or hang out in a hammock at Tiina's house. On Fridays Daddy always tries to do something fun.. like a boat ride and picnic at the beach. It's probably the best summer these kids, as children of a two-income earning family, will ever have.

It Just Keeps Getting Better

During the long drive home from Chicago we couldn't get the DVD player to work, so Miss Lucy was without her preferred form of entertainment. She decided she wanted my iPod and wanted to "hear a story". I put on "This American Life" for her and ...she loved it. This was a pleasant surprise and another reminder of why it is so cool that the kids are getting older.
She was also eager to talk to me and make me laugh - which made her a great traveling companion.

She'd also been trying to convince me I should pay her for her good behavior (she's trying to save up money for yet another American Girl Doll and has only $13 at the moment) and kept attempting to talk me into giving her a dollar. I carefully explained that she'd be paid only for extra chores around the house or something extra-ordinary. She listened carefully when I laid out my logic that good behavior is expected and therefore not something to be monetarily rewarded.

Shortly after that we reached our town and as we drove past the lake near our house I said something about how pretty it was with the sun shining on the lake and then Lucy began to sort of sing.. just sort of wordless pretty sounds like:
"ooooh.....aaaaaahhhh ....ooooooooh...."

And then she paused to take a breath and said:

"You know Mom, it costs extra for this background music."

I laughed so hard we're lucky we stayed on the road and didn't end up in the Lake.

It's in their blood

Having my Dad and step-mom here for a visit has been a re-affirmation that a lot of my personality is hard wired...and those genetics must be strong because we see my Dad so clearly in Mr. Man and Lucy-lou. Sure, some of the things (bossy, loud, strong-willed) can be chalked up to normal childhood behaviors. But other bits..are just stunning reminders of everything I try and fight in my own personality with lots of therapy.

My stepmom said it probably the best..(hence the title) ..she observed Michael demanding silence from the others in the TV room so he could watch Star Wars and I shook my head and said: "He is so like my Dad"..and Donna said: "It's in his blood". I like saying "genetics" better than blood.. but I get what she means.

I've been reminded, as we watch the Olympics (and Lucy is REALLY into them) that there are some other personality glitches I have that are all mine.
I can't watch someone win a sporting event (like Michael Phelps winning his first gold medal) without crying. I have the same problem at any school event where our kids have to go in front of a crowd of people. Emma's 5th grade graduation, Lucy singing in a pre-school Christmas program.. even at church when they pass out the Bibles to the kids or a baby is Baptized. Jeff has become so used to it he nudges me in the ribs with his elbow and grins at me. (I think he likes that I'm so predictable. I'm somewhat mortified that I can't not cry.)

I wonder if this will happen to Lucy as she gets older. This inability to not feel so much for the person doing their best in front of the crowd that the tears well up.
If so, it's in her blood I suppose.