Lesson du jour

Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived

-Ralph Waldo Emerson


I'm so type A. I'm a natural-born, world-class champion worry-wart.
I project so far ahead that, no joke, Jeff can recount times where I've taken some of our children's (probably normal) childhood misbehaviors and extrapolated that into how they'd never get through college and be degenerates, un-wed junkie parents, [insert your own worst fears about failing as a parent here], etc..

I'm mellowing a bit with age and experience, thankfully.

Some of these skills that I pick up as a mom translate back to work..and vice versa. Today I got reminded once again not to trip myself up looking so far ahead.

I've been struggling for weeks to complete a strategy project. I NEVER do strategy - it's not my job. I'm garden variety geek, thankyouverymuch. Ask me to debug a mis-encoded character stream. Tell me to find the failed cursor in a referenced library or package - I'm never happier than when I can figure out what the problem is.

But this. This was "suggest an approach the entire organization should follow" strategic mumbo-jumbo. I felt confused. Wondered if I had early Alzheimer's or maybe needed to go get a cup of coffee or three. I read and re-read ..and then re-read emails and thought I couldn't figure out what I was being asked to do.

Finally, I buckled down and typed that mutha OUT today.

My hand shook as I hit the "send" button to the team. I self-doubted, I whined a bit (just inside my head) and finally just closed my eyes and hit send.

Within an hour I got back a GLOWING email - complete with a thank you. Here's a comment from it that made me snort outloud: "You are a natural at process!"

I should kick my own behind for spending over a month dreading this and torturing myself. I shouldn't have worried so much. It's almost always not as bad as I think it will be.