1 Business Trip, 2 Lessons Learned

Ever pass by a cafe during the business day and see someone sipping a coffee or tea and nibbling at a fancy cake and feel a momentary stab of jealousy? I know I have. How rich is this person that they can sit in a cafe nicely dressed in the middle of a workday?
I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. That person you envy? They may well be very unhappy. Or actually doing work. Or both.

Yesterday I was surrounded by executives as a fill-in presenter for a work conference. I knew few people and fewer still knew me. I was very nervous and uncomfortable - and was relieved to see an old contact from a previous engagement at a client in Japan. He introduced me to a few people who were happy to talk to me, and we had a mutual interest in getting their operations in Japan better equipped. Aside from these positive interactions I was quite frankly a fish out of water. And because I knew it I tried to avoid the main area were the attendees were congregating as much as possible.

I had plenty of my REAL work to do and because the hotel had wifi I could work almost effectively as sitting at my desk. I worked in empty meeting rooms until their were none, and then to avoid being underfoot I looked for a new perch.

The wifi signal was even stronger from the 1st floor (conference on the 2nd floor) - and there was a little cafe. So, I sat in the sunny, beautiful cafe of this gorgeous old (1886) hotel and had a wonderful iced tea and a raspberry marscapone cake to nibble on.

As I sat there with my laptop, fancy suit and silk shirt and my decadent afternoon snack I reflected that to passersby I probably looked like someone having a very lovely afternoon. Then it hit me; things are often not what they appear to be.
I was miserable. Worried about my presentation, worried about who would attend and what they'd think. Worried about whether I looked right, could talk right or if the attendees would see right through me and complain. The topic is one I know - but I know it from a technical point of view and these folks are not technical or functional but operationally focused.

To add to the surreal quality of the day ... surrounded by executives and upper management* that I work beside each day but who wouldn't greet me with so much as a nod of recognition at this event something a bit odd happened at the cafe.

(*Aside: although I literally sat next to one of the management team on the plane en route to Texas he never greeted me. Because he's on the sales side of the house and I am not I suppose I can give him the benefit of a doubt that he really actually doesn't know me or my face. But if I take a job offer in the organization I've been offered he'd literally be my bosses' boss and I've worked on deals within his area in the past - so I do doubt a bit that he is completely unaware of who I am. Moreover, people who I KNOW know me by name completely walked past me as if they never saw me. My theory on this is that I am a peon, and they didn't want to schmooze with a peon.)

As I sat in the cafe attempting to calm my nerves before my big presentation and trying to get some work done (because my regular job has deadlines, and the deadlines don't wait for me to get done doing a presentation that is NOT part of my job)... a homeless (or so I'd guess) man wandered in.
He was wearing hospital pants - like scrubs but for patients, had hospital id bands on both arms and a fresh bandaged spot that I'd hazard a guess was where his IV had been on his hand. He had been catheterized, and I know this because his, um, collection bag, had overflowed. Over his shirt, pants ..down his side. And into this posh hotel cafe in the middle of a sunny afternoon he wandered in looking quite unwell. He sauntered up to the cafe bar clutching the small plastic bag I know from my past experiences volunteering in the ER was used to hold his personal possessions. This was all he had. Well, that and some loose cash which I beleive he tried to use to buy a drink at the cafe bar. I think they said something along the lines that they weren't serving and he'd need to cross the street. Still, he perched on the stool just next to my sunny cafe table and stared blankly at his surroundings for a while. I got the sense I was being watched, looked up and our eyes met briefly. I smiled in greeting, acknowledging our eye contact and then turned back to my work. In a few moments he shuffled out the door, but as he passed my table he lifted one hand in a sort of noncomittal wave goodbye.

So, while the people I was there to help - to present on behalf our mutual employer wouldn't spare a nod or a smile or a "Hello"... at least thanks to the cafe waitress and this homeless man I was sure I wasn't suffering from a form of temporary invisibility.

And, I learned something about myself. I'm not cut out to be upper management if there is something about that job that makes you learn to not "see" others. I will always acknowledge others with a nod or a smile or a "hello" -- even if I don't know them or work with them. My natural reaction when I see someone approach is to smile in greeting. If I know them, I tend to say "Hey" or "Hi" or ask how they're doing.
I am apparently not made for management.

So, two lessons learned:

1. Things are not always what they appear to be.
2. There are some aspects of how I interact with people I am unwilling to change for any amount of money. Perhaps my personality and people skills are in fact, unsuitable for a managerial position.

And, when I got to slip my jeans on for work today and sit at my computer and sip iced tea I thought to myself... now THIS is the life.