Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Feeling Unbalanced

After working 60+ hour weeks for most of July and August I knew I needed a break. I meant for this week to be all about "getting balance" in my life. Eating healthy meals, exercising, quilting - whatever would replenish me and make me ready to go full power through the fall.

However, what I didn't know is that by planning to take some "me" time I would actually feel more guilty than rested. In my search for balance - all I feel is like I am doing everything all wrong. Or maybe I should say that I'm feeling like I do everything half-assed.

I think there must be something wrong with me that I cannot take a day off and not check email. That I make lists, lots of lists, and follow them each day - on vacation! That I feel as if I am playing "hooky" by not being at work, and feeling "lost" without my daily work routine.

The kids are at their first week of school and the youngest is starting at his new day care, I know I need to have them go to their respective places each day and get with the new fall routine. But, because I'm home during the day and not with my kids - I feel like a "bad" mommy.

Because I can't just "turn off" my work brain and keep checking email - I feel like I'm doing a half-ass job at "vacationing" too.

Still, after doing too much errand running and not enough of the things I'd PLANNED to do on my vacation yesterday - I think today I did better.

Today I took a Fitness Yoga class, got new books (woo hoo!) by some of my favorite authors, had a Pedicure and took a 6 mile bike ride. I also managed to throw in a bunch of errands and a few emails (because apparently I can't not check work emails).

Tomorrow I hope to do another Yoga class, pick up Jeff from the airport and maybe meet with my mentor for coffee. Then my buddy Holly comes for a visit and I think Friday I will really manage to put the "Out of Office" message on my computer email for that day. That day I will REALLY vacation. Or.. at least that's my goal.

And maybe then I will feel "balanced" ...just in time for vacation to be over.

1 comment:

Holly said...

Seriously, no work Friday! Any work phone calls and I will steal your mobile. Any work emails and I'll steal your PC. Then I'll make you take a real vacation and come to Chicago to retrieve them! :)