Making a Fool of Myself, Once Again

I have a special knack for saying just the wrong thing, sticking my foot in my mouth or just inadvertently making myself look like an idiot. Seriously, if I were a super hero I'd be "Awkward Woman" - my super power is making other people laugh at my own expense.

So today is the big first day at the client site. It's week two away from home, I was having a bad hair day, a rough time figuring out to wear..and I was running late to meet up with the consultants (all men) when I figured out I needed a product only women need, oh, just about every 28 days or so.
So, I ran down a back staircase to the little shop in the lobby and bought every box of Croatian OB they had. Whew, right? Not yet.

So, I pack up my back pack with my laptop and notebook and everything I'd need for the day. Part way through the morning session when we're working on our slides for the client presentation one of my colleagues had a coughing fit and I offered him some gum from my backpack. He admired my Japanese gum so I offered it around the table to all the consultants. They're all familiar with Europe (one is Czech, one is Portuguese and one was German), I'm only familiar with Japan so we were comparing notes on sweets and snacks. At which point I said: "Well, I also have some Japanese snacks in my backpack, too" - thinking to offer them as a mid-morning snack.
I grabbed the strawberry Pockey box and said: "And I have more!" and then grabbed...(drum roll please) the box of OB which I held up for all the men (it's all men - I'm the only woman in the group) to eat.

Before I could cringe in horror and throw it back in my back pack the Czech across the table said to me: "Uh. This is not edible."
....and then he tried (and failed) to keep from laughing at me. I don't remember what I mumbled as a come back - but I blushed furiously for a good 5 minutes or so...absolutely horrified I'd just shown off my tampons to the group. Of men. All men. Have I mentioned I'm the only woman in the group? Yeah.

So, yep. That's me. The hip world traveling professional making another graceful first impression with my European colleagues. Smoooooooth. (Not!)



Which one of these is not like the others? (Not edible!)

Day One in Zagreb

My mission for today was this: Find warm shoes and a coat, get a bit acclimated to the time zone and the city. Mission accomplished!

Zagreb is lovely, the weather today was sunny, beautiful and a relatively warm 65 degrees. Perfect walking weather. So, I walked along Jurišićeva to Ban Josip Jelaĉić Square and found shopping all along the way.



I wandered through the the Dolac, the city's main market (aka "the Belly of Zagreb") - where there is a giant indoor market with every cheese,meat, pastry and ingredient you could ever want, and then upstairs is a giant outdoor market.



I wandered up more stairs past the Dolac to "upper town" and found more little markets and lots of quaint cafes. There are LOTS of outdoor cafes here - the Croatians seem to have even the Dutch beat with their cafe : person ratio I'd guess.



I managed to find a warm sweater (it's green of course - I'm so stuck on that color lately) in a little upper town shop for only 100 Kuna (that's like $20). I also managed to find a stylish jacket for over my suits this week..but that was, sadly, not such a good bargain. Oh well.

After finishing up my shopping a quick lunch I've headed back to work a bit this afternoon because now it's America's waking up time.
This will probably be the only day I have to wander around and take pictures - so I'm glad it was sunny and I'm pleased the schedule worked out this way.

やっぱり慣れた

三年ぶり日本に戻って来た前、大変心配しました。

日本語忘れしまった、ゼミを日本語でやるの計画もあったし、本当に困った。でも、やはり大丈夫でした。だいたい覚えてきました。

考えなくと、日本語が口からやすやすと出った。しかし、考え過ぎだと神経が高ぶってしゃべられないです。と言う事で、多分頭の中には、日本語がまだまだ分かる。考えなくと自然に話せる。考え過ぎとダメだね。もちろん、前と比べるだと単語が絶対忘れた。それと言葉の間違い時もうありますね。でも、話が出来たでうれしかったね。

一週間だけが立った、夢にも日本語で見えます。昨夜の夢が半々日本語と英語になった。今朝起きたと電話があった。家の子供たちと話中で日本語で喋りたかった。びっくりしました！「ママが起きたばかりなのに」がちょうど口から出るところで「あら！英語しか分からないのに、ちゃんと英語で話さなくちゃだね」と思い出した。変な感じだった。

とりあえず、安心だね。日本語をまったく忘れた事ではないって、良かったね。

これから、アメリカに帰るとちゃんと日本語の練習をしなければ成りません。長い間使わないだと、もっともっと忘れるはずさ。勉強しないと今度日本へ来ると今頃の日本語で出来ないかもね。だから、ちゃんと練習した方がいいよね。

Now I am a HAPPY geek.

I'm such a simple creature, really. It's all about the little things.
The certain smell of my favorite soap. My one and only favorite necklace.
When feeling stressed about the change in travel plans from Tokyo to Zagreb, all it takes to make me feel a bit better is a hot fudge sundae at Royal Host. (Well, that and a few pep talks from my hubby.) I've had two (sundaes) in the last two days and am feeling pretty even keel now.

I knew Akihabara would have plug adaptors and transformers I'd need (it's 220V in Croatia) and 電圧 is something I can speak about easily (thanks to a previous lifetime translating robotic and printing machinery schematics), so I figured I'd get it here where I could explain what I needed without any language barrier. I knew I'd be all set if I could make my way to my favorite electronics shop in Akihabara.

What I didn't know is that I'd find my favorite EVER game (ぷよぷよ） celebrated their 15th Anniversary by putting out a Nintendo DS version. I nearly shouted in joy right there in ソフマップ.

So, this (all my geeky goodies, only available in Japan or by import):



THIS is what happiness looks like to my inner geek. I had a smile I couldn't wipe off my face this entire afternoon. People in the subways noticed and either smiled back or looked at me like: ニコニコするな！

And as I floated on a cloud of happiness back to my hotel room to pack up all my goodies and charge up my DS for the long flight to Amsterdam, I saw something that would make my hubby's inner geek smile parked right in front of the hotel.

What I've learned this week

Executive Version:

- There is oroshi: 下ろし　おろし (which is to lower)
and THEN there is oroshi: 卸し　おろし (which is a wholesaler).
Considering I was presenting on wholesale functionality all week, I'm embarassed to admit I didn't figure it out contextually right away. I eventually had to ask.
- ZAG is the Airport code for Zagreb, Croatia
- Temperature today in Tokyo = 86 degrees and 70% humidity (dew point = 70 degrees).
- Temperature today in Zagreb, Croatia = high temp of 50 degrees.
- Eddie Bauer has stores in Japan and although they only sell petite sizes, their clothes will fit big ol' gaijin like me.
- The electrical outlets in Croatia are like the kind used in Germany. Some REALLY helpful sites are: here and here.


The long rambling usual version:

All in all my week in Tokyo went very well. I think I did a good job, I know I managed to be helpful. I know I left the team here with more info. than they had before - I think that's mission accomplished.

The minor grumbles I have center around the fact that when we worked on the holiday (Tuesday the 23rd was a bank holiday here in Japan - the "Autumnal Equinox") no one clued me in that the building would be un-manned, un-air conditioned and that dress would be "casual".

The teams' preparation was a bit poor but they were respectful, thoughtful and bent over backwards to make sure I never served a drink or cleared up glasses. (As the presenter, it would have sent the wrong message for me to play any part that looked like an "OL".)
Click on link if you don't know what an "OL" is: OL Link

I had a working Japanese cell phone (that I grudgingly accepted - and it turned out handy in the end I guess), Suica (subway) pass and my employee ID worked on the badge readers here in the new office. It was as if I'd lived and worked here always - really it was that comfortable and easy.

Speaking of the office - that was quite a surprise. No one told me that they'd only just moved! They moved to a totally brand new purpose built skyscraper exactly one week before I arrived. The building still has some new paint smell - it's THAT new. And it's REALLY beautiful..



as beautiful as any office building I've ever seen. Gleaming, covered in the traditional "ran" (orchids - that are gifted when a new building or new business opens) - waterfall features and shining white floors. Amazing, really. I actually took pictures because it was so lovely.



The biggest surprise this week though was on my Wednesday morning first thing. I got a message from my boss asking me to call her right away. I reached her at home to find out they wanted me to go directly to Croatia from Tokyo.

Do not pass Go, do not collect $200, do not unpack suitcases.
I spent Thursday wrangling with the Travel people - first talking them into holding me one of the last two seats left on the flight, then succeeding in getting them to NOT route me via a different flight than originally planned with four stops and three different air carriers (checking and re-checking luggage between air carriers I've never heard of in cities where I don't speak the language sounds like a travel nightmare to me..)..and then finally talking them down from $9,000 to $6,000 as a grand total and managing to book the ticket in a way that it wouldn't get held up in the approval chain and could be e-ticketed immediately. (And yes, that's cattle class, NOT business. One way flight legs are spendy.)

I was so shocked after the initial news that I was going to Zagreb (and it was morning - time for me to head to the office) that I quickly packed up my work bag for the day, ran to the office to get there to present...only to discover while on "auto-pilot" mode (due to the shock, I really think) I'd completely forgotten to pack my laptop.

Oops.

I ran back to the hotel and back again to the office (and when I say ran, I mean trains, taxis and sprinting through buildings in high heels and panty hose trying not to sweat off all my makeup) - and made it JUST in time to present. In fact, I walked into the conference room at 9:30am just as we were intended to begin and launched into presenting with great enthusiasm and while still catching my breath from my sprint. Go figure - I guess adrenaline works for me.

The end of this week has been lovely. I worked one day at the office and attended meetings - again, just as if I was always based here, and then Friday I worked from the hotel room.

I find working in a hotel room to be reallly efficient. No one bugs me, I can listen to music, I get SO much more work done. And, unlike working from home I don't feel like I have to do any cleaning up. No dishwasher to load, no guilt about not running the vacuum.
I work until I need a break or feel like I've gotten enough checked off my to-do list that I deserve a small reward, run an errand - then go back and work until I fall asleep.

Last night was a trip to Shibuya for MOS burger dinner and then to Omotesando to see the new Ometesando Hills building and toy shopping for the kids at Kiddyland.



I leave for Croatia in just under 24 hours now. I'm SO glad I have my camera with me as this is someplace I never imagined I'd get to visit.

Surreal Sunday

Today has been a filled with brief surreal events in between some lovely familiar treats in Tokyo.

Surreal Event #1: 7:18 am
In my sleep clouded mind I heard a noise that sounded like doors clattering and then thought: "Someone is shaking my bed!" I connected the noise and the shaking and thought someone must be in my room shaking the bed.
I sat bolt upright and then realized the noise and the shaking bed were because there was an earthquake. (Side note: Earthquakes are super common here. The buildings are engineered for them - I'm on the 32nd floor and the hotel swayed and shook and life went on.)

I had intended to sleep in later than 7am, but couldn't get back to sleep after the (small) earthquake. (Side note 2: I am not scared of tornadoes, typhoons, hurricanes or any other natural disaster - I've been through lots of bad typhoons, been in the house when a tornado went right overhead and took down part of our fence and some of our roof shingles...but Earthquakes.. and I've been through over a dozen, they TERRIFY me. I'm working hard on not being panicked every time one makes the building sway - because they're so common - but they are my number one phobia in life.)

I had a nice call home where hubby was being a super over-acheiver and feeding 7 (yes, SEVEN) kids dinner and then enjoyed the hotel breakfast and headed out to make the most of my one free day despite the rainy weather.
I headed to Shibuya to hit my favorites: Tower Records, HMV, Sony Plaza, The Loft (LOVE IT - my all time favorite Tokyo store!), and MOS Burger for lunch. I checked into getting my quad-band phone operating here - but Docomo wouldn't swap SIM cards with me without a contract. No matter - it's kind of nice being unreachable. :)

Then I stumbled onto Surreal Event #2: 4:10　pm
突然な祭り - a festival. Shibuya is a BIG shopping/entertainment place. Oodles of people wandering around and when it's raining it's a sea of umbrellas as far as the eye can see. Suddenly there are drunk people running around in what look like white speedos and blue Happi coats on top. You can smell the beer, hear the shouts and see lots of golden shrines. It's a Festival! In the midst of the busiest part of Tokyo on a Sunday afternoon. Just a little added crazy to the day.



I got myself a Suica card (a card that has a chip imbedded in it that knows how much money you've placed on it - lets you just tap & go on any subway or JR train, plus you can buy stuff with it at convenience stores, etc.) and brought my shopping goodies back to my hotel room. I turned the TV on thinking I should get started with my translation of the presentation I'm giving tomorrow and ran smack dab into:

Surreal Event #3 4:45　pm:
A Japanese TV documentary all about St. Paul Minnesota and the Republican Convention. It was amazing to me to see completely different coverage (from a Japanese media perspective) of this event that I saw on TV a few weeks back in a very different way.
For one, the program asserts that only "Afro Americans" (and they got a Republican party head honcho on TV camera calling them "Afro Americans" !!!! to my GREAT surprise) are interested in Obama. The Japanese presenter also called Obama "very leftist, too liberal" in general conversation and repeatedly asserted that McCain would be the next President. So much for impartial reporting!

Probably the funniest part of the program was the 4th "section" of the documentary, which they seemed to devote the longest amount of time (they spent barely any time on the brief interview John McCain granted them): an interview with Dan Qualye that they filmed on Sept. 9th at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York City.

They went on and on about how this was an extensive interview with an "important" figure Dan Quayle! This cracked me up because Dan Quayle is a laughing stock - a former Vice President who was a joke. He was known for not being able to spell and has otherwise been forgotten ever since - he couldn't even get funds to start a campaign in 1996 and has not been heard from in any public capacity, with the exception of the rumor he would appear on Dancing With the Stars, in about a decade! (Again, what a joke!)

I turned it off when Dan ceased making sense after about 20 minutes. The Japanese subtitles sure make him look a lot more articulate than he actually is in English.

Now I will head out for another 懐かしい meal at Royal Host and then try and crack down and get prepared for work tomorrow morning by translating my presentation.

It's Beautiful Where Jeff Is

何も知らないくせに大きな口を聞くな

I'm trying to cram Japanese back into my brain. I'm leaving to be a presenter (in Japanese) for a week later this month (after Jeff gets back from Denmark) and I'm reallly worried about how rusty my Japanese has gotten.

So, I started studying from old notebooks of mine and ran across this phrase I'd jotted down back in 1993. Yep, 15 years ago. And it gave me all the warning I need for this trip where I'm meant to be an "expert": 何も知らないくせに大きな口を聞くな = Don't talk big when you know nothing.

What an amazing warning message that is for me. 'Cause I'm meant to go off and be a functional expert on about 10 different products and I'm overwhelmed trying to keep up.

As much as I'm looking forward to the chance to go back to Tokyo, the personal price (and the prep-work) is pretty steep. It looks like I'm on the hook to prepare an agenda and training materials for 5 days worth of training 10 people. It's hard to find the time to prepare the slides on top of my regular two jobs (at work) that I can barely keep up with.

The Week that Was

Things are so hectic I can't think straight. My to-do list at work (and home) has grown so long I'm flailing. So, I think it's best that I take a break for a moment to try and reflect on the week that just flew by.

First Day of School

Luce loves her new teacher, and I have high hopes she'll have a good year at school. She's turning into a bookworm and this makes me very happy for her.



Em is settling into Middle School with the sort of self-assured confidence of someone who knows who she is and what she wants and is READY.TO.GO.
It's amazing to me - because I don't have any memories of Middle School that don't make me cringe a bit remembering being painfully shy and unsure and desperately uncool..and Emma is brilliant, whip-smart and comfortable in her own skin.
She's the most unique combination I've ever seen - she's got her own funky style going on and is naturally gifted at making gobs of friends ..and yet she's been promoted ahead a grade level to advanced math and language arts and is trying out for the competitive math league team.
She's got the brains of a math geek in coupled with the look & social skills of a popular girl. I am so impressed by her and can't tell her enough how amazing she is.




Mr. Man went back to his pre-school for pre-K and loves his new teachers. I do, too. His lead teacher is a fresh import from Columbus, Ohio - which gives her a big ol' gold star in my book.
In typical third-child fashion, we have no pictures of his first day of school because mommy accidentally left the camera at the Elementary school. Oh well. He's happy and was surrounded immediately by all his old buddies who had been looking forward to his coming back to school after the summer break - his only complaint is that school is cutting into his TV watching time.

The RNC Invasion of the Twin Cities

It took me over 2.5 hours to get home after work on Wednesday thanks to John McCain staying at the Hilton attached to the building I work in. I confess that even though I didn't get home till 7pm that night I wanted to see Palin's speech in a weird sort of way that I can only compare to the feeling of wanting to scratch a mosquito bite or pick a scab. Gross.

I worked from home most other days this week - which was a treat and didn't involve having to face the fact that my city was overtaken by right wing political figures in Cadillac Escalades with black tinted windows and lots of G-men to protect them (the protesters mainly stayed in St. Paul - so Minneapolis took on a decidedly "fat cat" vibe). My friend Sharon and I seemed to be the only ones interested in playing "spot the G-man"...but then, it wasn't much of a challenge and it was less interesting than, say, the National Guard and the snipers on the parking garage roof that I could look at all day from my office window.

I'm pretty sure that Tom DeLay almost walked right into me (how dare I walk on the sidewalk when he was?) as I was walking back to my office on the sidewalk in from of the W hotel on Wednesday afternoon. He was in a big cowboy hat & these fancy jeans - and he reeked of too much cologne. Gross.

Here's a story to pretty much sum up the week with the RNC taking over the Twin Cities:

I'm riding in the car with Jeff at noon on Wednesday on our way to lunch, listening to MPR like usual... but we soon figure out it's been overtaken by RNC politcal pundits because all we can hear is stuff like:
"blah blah Evil Liberal Media blah blah blah the Conservative Majority will SAVE AMERICA blah blah Evil Liberal blah blah"

So, after I get fatigued hearing again how the majority of the nation is actually conservative (huh? really?) and that only evil baby-hating liberal freaks would question VP nom Sarah Palin's choice to go back to work 3 days after giving birth to her infant son..I ask Jeff to please change the channel to a music station.
We switch to the adult easy-listening-alternative music channel and land on a Norm Coleman (Republican Senator) commercial bashing Al Franken.
I threw up in my mouth a little bit and then I switched the radio off.